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  • Sweet jezebel, I'm drowning in an ocean of meat and I don't want to swim to the surface. Forget the naysayers, reader. If you're like me and the very thought of consuming an animal causes your mouth to water and your adrenaline to spike for the hunt, Charcut is a must-visit. There are so many animals for you to put in your mouth you won't even know where to begin. I went here with my roommate for his birthday. His family was picking up the tab (hint: it's not a cheap place, so don' go in expecting Junior Bacon Cheeseburger prices or you be in for the biggest sticker shock of your life) so I wasn't too worried about being selective. We tried one of... well, pretty much everything on the menu. The setup here is sharing. You share your dishes and everyone talks about how delicious things are while you shove them in your mouths like a great big happy family of wolves that stumbled across a perfectly seasoned carcass in the middle of the forest. Two words for you, Yelp: DUCK. POUTINE. This is the reason God invented ducks. I've never wanted a dish to last for eternity more than I did when I tasted this poutine. But then, out came the Chef's Cut Steak. I have no idea what was on this, all I know is that if I don't ever eat it again I'll consider my life a wasted endeavor. On my headstone, I'll want them to carve: "Joel - Didn't eat Chef's Cut twice. FAILURE." And there was a massive platter of different meats, from a head meat to a sausage to a bunch of other things I can't even recall because I was tripping so much balls on animal flesh that my taste buds were having seizures. Somewhere in the orgy of flavors there was a chicken. Of all the dishes this was probably my least favorite and I'd still eat 8 of them before ever touching a piece of Swiss Chalet again. Then dessert. Their bacon apple pie? Yeah, not a favorite. But that can be forgiven because there was some sort of tiramisu or crumbly pudding thing in a cup that I would easily run down a man in my car for. In conclusion: I am now drooling all over my keyboard, so I'm going to call it a day there. If you've got some cash to flash and you love stuffing your face with dead things, Charcut. End of story.
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