The butt lamps, sheep, et cetera are not tongue in cheek. It's definitely tongue out of cheek and all over someone's genitals. It's also incredibly tacky.
The valets are young punks who apparently forgot their job, but it's very Miami for them to assume the lady should open her own door. Hello? I'm paying you and tipping you for the convenience of not having to do this myself. Doubtful that "bereft of manners" was part of your qualifications in getting a position there, but whatever.
Basically, this isn't your mother's hotel, unless your mother's a filthy whore who doesn't expect much.