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| - . Exit the Dragon
Since my 5 star 2 months ago, I'm retracting 4. All good dishes must come to an end. So too, must the rarely bad ones here, and the few excellent.
I phoned "Counterman B---", the ever-present Dragon-keeper, to almost apologetically, tell him the first-time-tried dishes just picked up---Pork Lo Mein and Yu Shan Pork---were not edible because of too much fat and gristle. The glum (as usual) B--- offered to refund without my asking, said he was very busy, then abruptly hung up before I could thank him and place another order. I called the next day to do this, and he said the cook was upset, and that we should find another restaurant. "WHAT? I don't understand.", taken by surprise. "Why do you eat our food?" he asked. "Because we really LIKE it.", I answered, perplexed. (In all our visits the only other issue was about 5 years ago when they had forgotten to add essential seasoning ingredients to a chow mein sauce in a relative's take-out. It was just water and cornstarch. I knew this, because I prepare Asian dishes myself. It was replaced without a problem.) He just repeated that we should find another restaurant. "I've written really good reviews for you.", I said, ready to tell him about this site. "I know.", he quickly replied. (!?) I don't know how, since neither my husband nor I ever told him. Again, he said he'd refund, then hung up.
Confused, I told my husband what B--- had said. ....ah-HAH. Apparently, the two had exchanged a few words when the order was picked up. (Maybe other times, too, I suspect.) If B--- didn't like my husband checking the bag before leaving, it was only because of a $30 take-out the week before, when the requested extra mustard for five egg rolls was missing. My husband told him that the amount they gave was not nearly enough (totally agree; 2 of their smallest containers) and that that's why we requested extra again, this time. (Their hot mustard is better than I've been able to find or make myself.) B--- then said he'd have to charge us. CHARGE US? When a restaurant skimps on necessary condiments, forcing fairly regular patrons to pay extra just to reach a normal and reasonable quantity, is blatantly insulting. Understandably, that didn't go over well with my husband. Either the Dragon is desperate to squeeze out a few extra cents on take-outs, or---for WHATEVER ridiculous reason---they don't want our business. Or both. Fine. Judging from the sub-standard meat in these last two dishes, they may be taking the low road of low grade meats or have turned off onto the untrimmed route.
This "conflicting personality thing" between the two may have been steaming over time, and finally reached the boiling point with B---. They may have had "bones to pick" with each other, but I was stuck with Fat Lo Mein and Yu Shan Gristle in two large containers. I ended up eating a small amount of noodles from one (too mushy), and some green beans from the other. The rest I threw out. The thought of ever walking back into the Dragon for a well-deserved refund, was too unappetizing. And here I had been my normal nice and friendly self, almost regretting having to voice a legitimate complaint. Little did B--- know that I wasn't going to bother telling him about the other off-putting components in our order. I will here.
The fat and gristle content was quickly confirmed after a couple bites of each, but it was when I looked through the containers again for any edible pieces, that I found more unwelcome surprises. Coated in brown sauce, and roundish golf-ball in size, were two thick and oddly-curled shapes, looking like---no kidding---tarantulas. Initially shocked and repulsed, in disbelief I carefully picked one of them up by a 1 inch "leg". Turning it around for closer examination, it DID look very much like the spiders' heftier relative. Believing that these couldn't possibly be what they appeared to be, I pulled off a couple of the appendages to bravely (gulp) test them. Phew. It DID taste like pork. (Then again, I have no idea what tarantulas taste like.) Instead of tossing into the garbage someone had actually saved two globs of trimmings and carved them into these off-putting shapes. awlgh. This was taking repurposing to a whole new---but disturbingly gross---level.
Because they were intentionally cut into these shapes, maybe they were meant to be---garnishes!? But those are edible---much like the fanciful roses, petals, spirals, and lotus blossoms carved from fruits and vegetables. Not from meat! Now it IS possible---although hard to imagine---that they might have been intended to resemble chrysanthemums. Misfire! They ended up looking more like members of the Theraphosidae family---not flowers.
Jack's Dragon had better keep at least one of its fierce eyes on kitchen and counter staff, or it might soon be sputtering its last weak, fire-spewing breaths.
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