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| - Riding the high roller makes me down. I remember when I found out santa wasn't real. I cried for what seemed like ages. Riding on the so called "scary" high roller brought back those disappointing memories of santa no more from its false advertising as scary. The only thing terrifying is the price, 30 dollars for a night ride online or 37 in person. Save your money for your mortgage, its way scarier than this dream crusher.
I say disappointing because the high roller is advertised as being scary. The ads mention how scary it is, how people with a fear of heights should be cautious about riding this record high observation wheel. I'm one of those people. I screamed when I sky dived and I cussed when I cliff jumped. But I still did them. Because they terrified me when I looked down. On the high roller, I questioned my own existence. I thought, "why did they trick me? This isn't scary at all. Should I feel guilty for worrying about first world problems? Am I not drunk enough? I don't feel drunk. This is unpleasant. Are they testing my optimism? Why am I alive? I wish I were at work"
Let me sum what this awful experience is like. You walk through endless corridors and feel your excitement build up. "OMG THIS IS THE WORLDS LARGEST WHEEL IM GONNA SO SCARED HAHA NOT IM SO AWESOME YEAHHHH VEGAS WHOOO". You get on the futuristic white orb with your friends and other strangers and you feel reckless with arrogance.
550 feet? HAH. You're Braveheart, you're Batman, you're courage personified. Nothing can stop you.
And nothing will. There's absolutely no view in the orb that will scary you. No moving air like an open cage in a ferris wheel. The steel bar blocks the glass view so it's not like you're riding in a glass orb, it's more like you're riding win a giant hamster wheel. I felt more safe than driving in California when it's raining. I could sleep in the orb and wouldn't notice anything.
As the 30 minute ride to hell started. this annoying guy popped on the TV screen to remind us how great Caesar's palace is and how awesome Linq is. I pay 30+ dollars and they advertise to me? Seriously? Not only is the beer outrageously priced here ($10 for a little bottle) but they actually try to sell you stuff while you pay to ride on this giant hamster wheel thing.
The view is good. Oh wait. not really. I see a suburb. Oh look...MGM. That's cool. Wait, can't I just go to the top of the MGM and pay nothing. Oh yeah I could. But I didn't. I paid to ride this hamster wheel thing.
And it sucked.You know why? It's not because this is a first world problem. Which it is.
Its because they advertised this thing as scary. Mortgages in California are scary. Japanese horror movies are scary. Layoffs are scary. This thing is not scary.
Oh and to add insult to injury, the narrator guy insults you while you ride. He tells you not to be scared even though there is no fear. He starts to mock you and laughs while making awful puns. I never hated tv narrators until I rode in this orb of death.
Save yourself the money. Buy some beer. Spin some slots. Donate to the homless. But please, do not support this atrocity. This thing will make you wish you weren't on vacation. For 30 minutes, you will ask yourself, "huh, I didn't get reception at 550 feet. Yeah I do. I wonder what my friends are doing on facebook. I should take a selfie but the lighting is awful so i can't"
Seriously, please don't ride on this thing. It's a giant boring wheel of ads for 30 minutes. Support the real fun: casinos and everything not related to this boring wheel.
Anyone who gives this thing 5 stars should not be trusted. They are lying. I assure you, you will suffer. I am considering a lawsuit for false advertising. They should pay me and even then, it would have to be more than 30 minutes of what I make at my job.
Don't go. Please. For Santa. For your dreams. For hope. For humanity.
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