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| - Completely agree with Michelle on this one. Literally the worst massage my mom and I have ever had, to the point that it's become a joke in our family to say, "Boy, I need a massage after that massage!" after experiencing something far below expectations.
Neither of our massage people seemed to have experience or training in giving a massage, so much so that we wonder if they had a license at all. We came in with sore feet after calling ahead for two foot massage appointments. We never wanted our back or any other part of our body massaged, just our feet as that's what our appointments were. This entire experience was a huge mistake.
They led us to a room near the front door - these are partitions, like cubicles, and Mom and I were in the same partition. There were overstuffed hospital beds and ottomans in the room, we sat down after being led there and waited a good 10 minutes. Had they forgotten about us?
After waiting, our people (not deserving of the name masseuse, so I don't know what else to call them?) brought two tubs of warm water in and had us sit on the ottomans. I love to soak my feet in warm water when they're sore, so at this point I was still on board. But it started to get weird very quickly.
While soaking our feet and sitting on the ottoman, our people started massaging our shoulders - isn't this a foot massage? Then they started forcing our backs downward by compressing our spine aggressively. This sucked, there's no other way to describe it. Our backs were unsupported as we were sitting and undergoing stress and pressure that these inexperienced people were applying. It was pretty horrible, but that's not even the worst part.
Next they had us on the hospital bed, and massaged our feet. This part was actually somewhat agreeable, and both my mom and I were thinking the massage was headed in the right direction. Until they started slapping our feet and legs. Punching our feet and legs, then slapping again. This was so uncomfortable that any benefit gained from the foot massage had completely dissipated.
Now we get crazy. They have us lay on our stomachs and start massaging our backs, my person - who's a guy by the way - decides he's going to take off my shirt. So while I'm still on my stomach he tugs and pulls until he yanks my shirt off. I'm wearing two shirts, so he repeats this. Feeling fully molested, all I can think is: This is supposed to be a foot massage!!!
Next comes what is similar in pain to a Thai massage, with horrific technique. Punching and shoving my spine around, I kept telling him stop! You're hurting me! Be gentler! He's completely ignoring me so I repeatedly say OUCH! But he never got the hint, even with hand gestures asking him to stop.
By the time this ended, I'm shirtless and in so much pain. How could the reviews on Yelp! have been so off, how could it have led me so far astray?
As we dress as quickly as possible, leave a tip by the side of each of the beds, and hobble to our car as fast as we can to get away, my person runs into the parking lot after us, as we are trying to back out the car from its space.
"Tip-uh?" He says, holding out his hands through the window I had rolled down.
"We left a tip by the beds in the room," I said, completely in shock by how this asshole who actually hurt me and didn't deserve a penny of tip, could be so brazen to run after us in the parking lot. Not to mention how crude it is, and we had left generous tips.
Completely disgusted by the experience, we try to drive away once again, when the MANAGER runs out into the parking lot and knocks on the window as our car is MOVING. I roll down the window only a crack, worried about how this nightmare could get any worse. He tries to shove frequent visitors cards through the crack. "No thank you, no thank you," I say repeatedly. No matter, all he needed was to shove those cards in while we were still trying to leave.
All in all, I've never had an experience so opposed in quality and satisfaction to the rating the facility carries on Yelp! I can only hope that future patrols will read my review and Michelle's review and stay as far away from this place as possible.
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