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| - Man does Smokey Bones work really hard on its image, harder than a teenager that just transferred to a new school even. Instead of going with a soul patch angle, as BBQ joints are wont to do, Smokey Bones sort of wants to catch some of the suburban faux hipness that TGI Friday's and Applebee's co-own these days. I mean, there ain't nothin' bluesy 'bout Robinson, a place where a dynasty of chains rule with an iron...bowl of spinach artichoke dip.
Signs with somewhat witty sayings and double entendres are all around you as are a dozen televisions, which on this night were showing baseball games, music videos, and shorts from The Three Stooges, Laurel and Hardy, and one of my heroes, Mr. Bean. I was having flashbacks of the TV room at the Andy Warhol Museum!
Hey, Kay wanted to come here, I didn't. However, being out of ideas at the moment and feeling kind of slummy and discombobulated from a busy work week, my will was as bendable as a Gumby action figure.
The Pretzel Bones were rather excellent, shockingly enough, and you get a newspaper-lined basket of 'em. They're buttered, soft, steamy, and are served with 3 dipping sauces: Sweey Honey Mustard, Creamy Queso, and Garlic Parmesan. Of them all, I kept going for the garlic most often, although the others were solidly delectable. These are the kind of pretzel rods that need to conquer the malls, ballparks, and arenas of the Americas in order to spare us from the banality of Auntie Anne's.
Wanting ribs badly, madly, I went with the Double Trouble platter, which will getcha 1/3 of a rack each of their Smoked St. Louis Ribs and their Baby Back Ribs. I tried one with the Memphis Dry Rub and the other with the Original glaze.
The Smoked St. Louis Ribs were insurance seminar-dry. They purport to marinate them for 4 hours and then smoke them for another 4. My mother makes better ribs than these, and they take her no more than half as much time to make. What is it with low-and-slow anyway? Whenever I have any kind of meat cooked that way, it often ends up losing flavor and moisture. Is a lack of proper technique to blame?
The Baby Back Ribs were much better and pulled from their bones easily, my teeth tearing through them without resistance or hesitation. I can't remember which flavor I got on which, but I had no problem with either. Both were sweet, rich; your typical BBQ sauce.
My 2 sides stole the show. The Loaded Baked Potato was as loaded as a senator getting kickbacks. The requisite sour cream, butter, chives, bacon particles, and cheddar cheese were all there in spades. The inside of the potato was ideally lush, humid. My Creamy Cole Slaw had sass, freshness, snap, sugar, and loads of color. I could have made a perfectly fine meal out of the appetizer, sides, and some of the baby back ribs.
SB has some desserts that sound really interesting. One was a Bag of Donuts. Another was Apple Wontons. Kay wanted to share a slice of their huge chocolate cake that comes with vanilla ice cream. The ice cream was from heaven. If they don't make it themselves, I'd love to know where they get it from. The cake was rich enough but tasted a day or so old.
For a Friday night, this Smokey Bones wasn't exactly teeming with activity. We were given a large corner booth, and there were only 2 of us. I guess it ain't the place to be.
P.S. We had no issues whatsoever with the service. Our server Ash was competent, polite, friendly and brought out everything on time. We were also seated immediately upon arrival. I don't remember using the bathroom, so I cannot comment on that.
P.P.S. I'm trying to break the chain habit, I really am. They have a hold on me, though...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8WGH4hc4pQ
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