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| - Our story begins, as great stories do, with a hero. Well, maybe I'm not the hero of this story, but I'm definitely not the villain. That role has been spoken for.
Our story begins with our hero asleep in his bed. An unconventional beginning, but an important one for it absolves me of blame. And as I slept, some drunken maniac (presumably driving home from Butter) clipped my driver-side mirror. I awoke the next morning to find that merging traffic was seen through a kaleidoscope of disparate shards, and was consoled only by the knowledge that the drunk had probably broken his own mirror too. Driving with this handicap I found that it was difficult to judge the closing speed of 15 copies of every car, and decided the mirror should be fixed. My regular mechanic doesn't do body work, so I called the dealership. They ought to provide exemplary service, upholding the quality of the brand and promoting a culture of loyalty, right?
The folks at Carolina Volkswagen were more than happy to bring me in immediately. The technicians surveyed the damaged and decided that they would have to order the parts. That's fine, "it should only be a couple of days," I was told. They took all of my details, had me pay the $400 up front, and said they would call when the mirror was in and painted.
Four days passed and I heard nothing. I had paid quite a bit of money for this damn mirror and was assured that it would take only a couple of days. So I called them up and was told "oh yes, we have the part, we just need your VIN before we can have it painted." I thought it was strange that they wouldn't have called me to collect this information. I also thought it was strange that they didn't have the VIN because I had unlocked the car last week to let the technician transcribe it. Clearly they had lost all of my information.
Another week goes by. I am now quite good at merging with a kaleidoscope where my mirror used to be. Finally I receive a call that my mirror is in and painted and would I like to schedule a convenient time to have it installed? Apparently it can take up to two hours to install a mirror. I don't know about these things, my talents lie elsewhere.
Two weeks after the mirror is broken, I go in to have it replaced. I am there for 90 minutes. In addition to installing my mirror they insisted on performing a "complementary" 24-point inspection. I asked them not to, but I guess they did it anyway and found a number of urgent issues that they could fix for only a few thousand dollars. Yeah, sure. So then I am getting ready to leave and they hand me a bill for $200. Apparently the costs of paint and labor were not included in my original $400 payment. That's some shady business. Also, I was there for 90 minutes and charged for 90 minutes of labor. How can you call the inspection "complementary" and then charge me for the labor? I really wanted to cause a scene, but I was late for work.
So I walk outside and find my freshly washed car with a beautiful new mirror. They had given it a "complementary" car wash (still charging for the labor?) which removed some dirt and the driver-side door molding. The clerk and I stood looking at it for a while. She tested the water: "Are you sure it wasn't like that when you brought it in?" and "I don't think our car wash would do that." No. Not going to happen. My rage was palpable, and she saw that I wasn't going to tolerate any more crap.
I made it clear how this was going to end: they were going to order the part, paint it, and install it. We bantered. She dithered. I summoned a frighteningly icy rage. They ordered the part, painted it, and installed it.
And now, three weeks after they went poking unasked under my hood, the "check engine" light is on. Maybe they broke something, maybe they didn't, but after all the bullshit I am blaming them anyway.
So in summary:
1. It took a month
2. Cost 50% more than I was quoted
3. Charged for "complementary" services that I specifically asked them not to perform
4. Broke as much as they fixed
Unless you want to spend a fortune (and an entire month) on simple repairs, I suggest you look elsewhere.
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