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| - This tiny little lunch counter specializing in schnitzel is über-German; kitschy Oktoberfesty German, not disaffected Sprockets German. Five of us went for lunch today and squeezed ourselves onto the four stools while a steady stream of take-out customers filled up the remaining space, no doubt shooting us dirty looks for infiltrating their secret lunch cove and slowing down their orders.
Bavarian husband Bernard was manning the stoves while Polish wife Teresa plated and served. I had the day's sandwich special: the Bayern, a Bavarian-style schnitzel with sauerkraut and cheese for $6.99. The default meat is pork but you can request chicken or veal for a buck extra.
Holy scheisse! This schnit is kolossal[1]! Like the size of my mousepad huge. Bernard, of the thick German accent and imaginary lederhosen, fries each one to order so it arrives piping hot and oozing with mild yellow cheese and melt-in-your-mouth sauerkraut. The entire thing is encased in thick German bread flecked with caraway seeds and finished off with mayo, lettuce and tomato. It is freaking delicious.[2] Alas, the Teutonic portion was too big for my wee Asiatic belly and I took the remaining half home, essentially getting two meals for $7.
The downside of this place is that they're only open weekdays 11-5 or so, and the neighborhood is sketchy but Bernard keeps a baseball bat in the kitchen. Presumably to chase off unsavory characters? Either that or he uses it to pound the schnitzel extra thin.
Bottom line: This place is wunderbar. Just be aware that if you eat in, you will smell like schnitzel when you leave.
[1] No, that is not a typo, smart-ass. That's how you say "huge" in German.
[2] I just looked up how to say "delicious" in German and it's "schmackhafte" which just confirms for me that German is a hilarious language.
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