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  • Fresh & Easy is about as fresh and easy as a 40-year-old bar slut. That is, quite easy. But fresh? Not so much. If you've ever bought groceries in the UK, you might be deceived at first -- Fresh & Easy LOOKS just like a Tesco or a Sainsbury's. Which isn't surprising; after all, the chain is owned by Tesco. But there's one key difference: UK standards are so much fucking higher than this shit. Par exemplar: moldy strawberries, dented and sticky gelato containers, wilted prepackaged lettuce, incompetent clerks (seriously, if I bring my own canvas bags, why the fuck would you put groceries in a plastic bag, then put the plastic in the canvas???) I've only been grocery shopping in the UK a handful of times, but everything was always good quality and fresh. After two trips to Fresh & Easy, I'm feeling as if the Brits thought they could import their packaging and design, but leave the good stuff behind. No thanks. It ain't all bad, though, F&E. We can still chill when I don't feel like driving to Trader Joe's and I want some Dutch cheese and booze. I like your low shelves. I like your small size. I like your bakery and imported cheeses. Most of all, of course, I like your cheap, cheap wines. But at the end of the day, you're no classy Old World beauty. You're Eurotrash. And you're starting to rot.
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