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| - Caveat Fudium. (Let the Foodie Beware.) Updated from 2/24/12
An example of F.F.T.H. (Fell for the Hype. Pronounced
f-f-t-h; often a sudden, epiphany-like state.)
It hurts me to update---because the manager was understanding and apologetic---but I felt it was my civic duty to inform anyone out there who eats food. And if you haven't yet tried Fat Heads, don't let this deter you. Read the other commentaries---you just might miss out on something you'd fall head-over-drunken-heels with.
The food on a recent drop-in---just about 10 days after a 4 star visit---was responsible for 3 stars being "Chopped". Of the three different menu choices, two were unacceptable and one was inedible. While all eateries can plate up losers once in a while, 3 out of 3 in a single order even made Fat Head blush with embarrassment. (Red-cheeked image on the new beer OOPS, perhaps ?)
* The beef CHEESEBURGER was so dry that it was nearly indistinguishable as a meat product. All that could be tasted was bun and cheese.
* The BABY BACK RIBS were also dry, and tasted as if just plain-old-oven-roasted---a preparation anyone with no cooking skills at all, can achieve---and without a hint of "char-grilled to perfection" stated in the menu description.
Now, the worst.
If something isn't 100%, I won't hold it against a restaurant as long as it passes my Edible Test. That's generally about 75%---when I'm in a good mood, which I usually am. I do have higher expectations for the $$$$$, but bend more readily for the $ and $$.
Menu descriptions that simply list ingredients are enough for me---and safer for the food spot. Any embellishing, however, can backfire for the establishment, as is the case with "FAT HEAD'S ORIGINAL CHEESE STEAK". "...best...you will ever eat. Really. Honest...." ---even a shamelessly arrogant (but harmless) tongue-in-cheek reference to Philadelphia's Liberty Bell. I'll admit, that after reading, I couldn't wait to order. WHERE'S OUR SERVER??!! If anyone had tried, NO ONE could have convinced me to choose anything other than that Cheese Steak off Fat's extensive menu.
Ahhh... Impressive looking and HUGE---enough for 3 average healthy appetites to share---and it was ALL MINE. LET'S EAT!
uh. I can't remember tasting the many extras layered within. It's a blur. It was the meat that drew all my attention. At the very first bite I knew that I'd have my work cut out for me. Gristle. I don't like it. Never did---never will. I discreetly removed the generous portion, hid it in a napkin, then crunched on a few of their homemade chips (quite good). No Cheese Steak Bite Number Two for me. No way. Working up the courage, I cautiously lifted that top bun.
I'd discovered the mother-lode.
After finger-prospecting through just the top two beef slices for any good parts, I soon knew it was a lost cause. If I took the time to trim it, I'd be there until closing. Not just on the edges, but like a topographical map of Minnesota and its thousand lakes, the slices were permeated throughout, assuring chewy inedibleness.
With the manager present, we testified one by one giving accounts of our displeasure, and in summation I presented a slice of cheese steak evidence for him to see with his own eyes. He'd been apologetic and understanding from the onset---explaining how things are prepared, that's the way it's delivered, etc, and offering to get us something else we might like---but when apprised with visual proof by way of Exhibit G, by then he probably knew we'd pass on any alternates. We declined his offer, he said (of course) no charge, and we left. But not before urging him---at the very least---to have their steak meat precision-trimmed before serving (quite honestly? not possible)---or even better---switching to an edible, fit-for-human-consumption grade.
Gristle. Pretty much a fact of meat life. Other than the esteemed filet (if prepped properly before cooking), most steaks that are intended to be eaten with a knife and fork will likely have some. BUT---it can be removed easily enough because IT'S VISIBLE. Gristle should NEVER be hidden---lying in wait---between buns, rolls, or slices of bread. That's at the top of my Culinary Sins list. Unappetizing for the eater, and for anyone who happens to glance over during the Act of Detection and Ejection.
Major disappointment. Especially since we told a newie about our better-than-average visit just days before, and convinced him to accompany us that second time.
Despite all this, my suggestion is to "go for it". Who knows? You might luck out just like we did the first time. And if our experience with management is any indication of Fat's overall commitment to customer satisfaction---they'll make it right if it's wrong.
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