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| - Dear Butcher and the Rye,
Your women's bathroom is the most ridiculous bathroom I have ever seen, and offends my female dignity. For reals. As you know, this bathroom was obviously designed by a male, Hipster architect (no woman would ever be so bone-headed), and the issue is that the two tiny stall doors and walls are waist-high. The upshot is that every time you walk into the restroom, you get to stare directly into the desperate, trapped eyes of ladies in the two stalls at the very moment that they are relieving their bladders and/or bowels. If you get close enough (which you pretty much have to, because it's a tiny space), you can also see their hiked up skirts and all their ladybits. Awwwwkward!!
As if all of that weren't excitement enough, the ladies' room is directly adjacent to the men's restroom. Which means you may also get the unique humiliation of having your date or your Dad as he's passing by the door witness your pride washing away with each flush of the toilet bowl.
The conversations I have had in this restroom attest to the intense discomfort:
One diner: "What if I had to change a tampon? This is awful."
Another diner: "Ladies, can you please turn your backs and also block the door? I'm really uncomfortable right now."
I can now confidently say that people don't want to feel like farm animals in pens when they are patrons of one of the best restaurants in town. This is taking the butcher concept to a not-fun extreme.
There's no point in waxing poetic about how your harissa cauliflower was Foodgasmic, how the Witch Doctor cocktail was perfectly crafted, or how the tables under the antler chandelier are charming. Why? Because of your G. D. ladies' bathroom.
I kindly request that you take some of your piles of profit and install regular-height bathroom doors.
The ladies of Pittsburgh and I thank you for your time,
A Diner Who Really, Really Has to Pee
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