| rev:text
| - As young manly men, we are told that there are only two types of places. Places you bring a lady because you want to impress her, and places you don't bring a lady because you don't want her to run off in terror. Fry's Electronics is the great exception. It is, you see, a place you bring a lady because there's not a single thing for her to do in this joint except grab on to you when zombie nerds jump out from behind every aisle.
I'm not kidding, this place is Zombieland. "Meeee neeeeeed haarrrd driiiiive." "Muuuust haaaavveee Bluuuuu-Raaaaay." "I beennnttt my Wooookieeeee." Listen for yourself, it comes from all corners of the store.
In this mass of zombies, you'll find fifty thousand staff members eager to assist you. Okay, that's only half-accurate. You WILL find fifty thousand staff members, but most will avert their eyes and walk with a sense of urgency in another direction, as though your very presence may reduce them to dust. Fry's has long been known for "paying people to stand around," and this particular store is no exception. When you do find one who is willing to help you, however, the service is generally good. The folks do tend to know a lot about their individual department, and can direct you to what they think you need fairly easily.
You read that right. What they "think" you need. No, there's no difference between that $90 video card and the $151 video card. No, you don't need the $2000 computer when the $1100 model has the same specs under last year's model number. No, it's not so easy a child could do it. In fact, if you don't know what you're doing, drive three miles down the road and go to Best Buy. You'll thank me at midnight when you're not still awake figuring out which cable to detach from your motherboard.
The return policy here can be an absolute pain in the neck, so buy only what you're sure you need, or what you're sure you can sell on eBay if you don't need it after all. I cannot stress enough the importance of carrying zombie spray, bringing a geek with you for protection, and knowing what you're coming for before you arrive.
Once you have found what they think you need, wound your way through the zombie horde and caused salespeople to flee in terror, you must now suffer The Final Indignity. Yes, that's right. You must snake your way through the Line of Death in order to get to one of the three open cashiers (in a line of fifty-seven cash registers, mind you), pay your $100 minimum (Nobody leaves the store without paying $100! Try it!), and decline your offer of a Fry's credit card three times. Next, you have the honor of taking a walk over to the sullen door-monitors who take your receipt, look you over, look in your bag, look you over again, ask if anyone tried to get you to hold their luggage, demand to know when the last time you were in Amsterdam was, look in your bag one more time, and wave you on. You'll absolutely feel like a criminal on your way out the door.
But hey, you did save twenty bucks!
So why the four stars? Because this place is a kick, and I like it. You never know what sort of bizarre things you'll find here, even from week to week. One week you may see laser pointers in the 99-cent bin, the next it might be those "as seen on TV" foot pads that are supposed to make you live to be 120. There are times it seems the price-tag person is drunk and marks a $59 video game down to $20 for no reason other than their own presumably-inebriated state. And you can get anything here. From appliances to mustache wax, it's here. You just have to dodge zombies to find it!
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)
![[cxml]](/fct/images/cxml_doc.png)
![[csv]](/fct/images/csv_doc.png)
![[text]](/fct/images/ntriples_doc.png)
![[turtle]](/fct/images/n3turtle_doc.png)
![[ld+json]](/fct/images/jsonld_doc.png)
![[rdf+json]](/fct/images/json_doc.png)
![[rdf+xml]](/fct/images/xml_doc.png)
![[atom+xml]](/fct/images/atom_doc.png)
![[html]](/fct/images/html_doc.png)