I wanted to rip the "Yelp" sticker right off their front window.
To start: The owner seated us. We didn't know he was the owner, he just seated us and then went back to his beer. He offered us a margarita. I said "Sure" and he gestured vaguely that I was to get up from my table and go to the bar. Go to the bar when I'm paying that much for an entree? Hells no.
The Margarita
Delicious. And they only serve about a shot's worth. Not a shot of tequila, but a shot of margarita. It was gone in two sips.
The Lazy Enchilada's (apparently the owner's favorite)
Firstly, it's enchilada. Singular. If you asked me what it was filled with, I couldn't tell you. There wasn't enough substance to figure out if it was cheese or chicken or just a tortilla. I was warned that the spicy sauce was really spicy, and urged to try the mild sauce as well. The "spicy" sauce was nothing more than chile paste, the same shit I get from the grocery store. The mild sauce was okay. But mild sauce + meatless tortilla = crap.
The Fajita:
Again, singular. Just one tortilla. The meat was overcooked and all the spices were overshadowed by all the salt.
The rice and beans:
The rice was crunchy (undercooked? burnt?). The beans weren't squishy, which is good, but they also had no flavor. And who serves food with bay leaves swimming in it?
And there were at least two hairs in our food. We gave up counting at the same time we gave up eating.
Never. Ever. Again.