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| - Brunch is the most overrated meal ever. You want me to pay double-digits and wait in the cold for over an hour on a weekend for a couple of eggs and some bread? Hell, no.
But brunch at The Hoof Cafe is not the tired egg-crap I see at every coffee shop and fine diner in town. After all, it's run by the same people behind The Black Hoof[1], the current darling of the hipster food-cognoscenti in Toronto. (And if you know me at all, you already know I can't STFU about their Raw Horse Sammy.) So when they do eggs Benny, pancakes, hash, and french toast, these dishes are every bit as interesting and inspired as what you'd find at its progenitor.
Two meat-loving Yelpers, Vivek S. and Anthony R. from Massachusetts, joined me on a weekday to avoid the Saturday and Sunday rush at The Hoof Cafe. As it was, most tables were filled by 1 p.m. so we perched ourselves on the stools at the bar and peppered the friendly bartender with questions about the food while she peppered the rims of our Caesar glasses.
FOOD
Remember that old commercial where the guy smacks his forehead and says, "I could've had a V8!"? That's how I feel about the Hoof Caesar, The Hoof Cafe's rendition of the Canadian classic brunch cocktail. At $8, it's a bargain when you see how many hand-crafted ingredients go into it: Hoof Cafe's own pink-peppercorn-infused vodka, house hot sauce, and house-made Marmite syrup and pickled yellow string bean. With its bright, refreshing flavors and overall deliciousness, I could've had four more. Alas, I did not want to fall off my stool.
Grilled cheese with tongue ($14); it's funny how the cheese gets top billing in this sandwich because it's all about the tongue. Shaved paper-thin, each slice is tender and succulent. The thick buttery toast has a schmear of piquant grainy mustard on the meat side and smoky grill marks on the outside. The accompanying house-made pickle slices help cut through the richness of the meat, teasing me to go back for more of that irresistible tongue. Yes. I'm still talking about the sandwich.
A side of pork belly pastrami ($4) yielded five thick slabs of meat, alternating layers of delectable swine with sumptuous melt-in-your-mouth pig fat. I would swear off bacon if I could have this in its stead.
Pigtails and grits ($13) were served in a bowl with creamy grits on one side and a thick ragu of pigtail morsels on the other, crowned with a perfectly cooked sunnyside-up egg and scallion salad. I broke the yolk with my spoon, allowing it to anoint the rest of the dish. The thin scallion slices provided a welcome crunch and sharp contrast to the rest of the dish. With flavors that were comforting and familiar yet intriguing and haunting, this was my favorite dish of the meal.
A side of hock links ($4) had plump little sausages served with glazed baked beans and a frizzle of fried collard greens. Again, everything looked familiar but the preparation was so deft, I have a newfound appreciation for the humble baked legumes.
Now that I think about it, the dishes here are only a dollar or two more than the brunch items at every other place in town but the quality and creativity are unparalleled.
SERVICE
Hip, young servers who are knowledgeable and without a soupçon of attitude.
VIBE
An inviting interior of hipster shabby chic; as I looked around the small dining room I kept noticing new things: a chalkboard menu written in nice handwriting that is not overly neat; glass-paned cabinets that reveal liquor bottles and big canisters of infusions; a light fixture made of Mason jars.
BOTTOM LINE
Brunch at every other place: listening to music on mono mode
Brunch at The Hoof Cafe: listening to music on Dolby Digital
It's time to experience stunning quality (or whatever the fuck the Dolby slogan is).
5 stars.
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[1] See my review: http://www.yelp.ca/biz/black-hoof-toronto#hrid:kAd1Z3pQzAePWFzKZ0-LlA
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