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| - Southside Johnny's is a relaxed little dive on the far west end of Etobicoke's Longbranch strip that I'm willing to brave the Gardner Expressway for at least twice a month. It's not sophisticated, urbane, or especially hip. Your trendy queer friends will hate it (unless they have a bluecollar Daddy fetish). It's also probably not the ideal place for a smootchy first date (unless you're both over 35 and jeans with Rolling Stones t-shirts make for your Saturday night ensemble), but if you're laid-back, unafraid to talk to strangers, and want some solid chow, this place can be great fun.
What Johnny's lacks in sophistication it makes up for with comfort, fantastic wings, and probably the most diverse jukebox I've found in the entire damned city. Where else can I spin the Andrews Sisters, Santo & Johnny, Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs, and hundreds of other 50s, jazz, classic rock, and silk-voiced crooner tunes alongside the alternative and the hiphop? In fact, one of my favourite, secret vices is to go here during their wing nights, fill the juke with tunes that the over-40s crowd there will love, and sit back to enjoy my dinner while the blue-collar truckers, retirees, and bikers close their eyes and reminisce of their younger days. They pat my back, shocked to see a younger dude who's into The Four Seasons, and sometimes I get free drinks. Fun.
The ambience is somewhere between classic rock worship and sportsbar guyspace, with framed posters of dead rock legends between the assorted flatscreens beaming the games. Weekends feature local rock bands like Kat House, Skip Tracer, the Cadillac Daddies, or the AC/DC cover band Bare Rump (who have to be seen to be believed), with open jams on Sundays.
In addition to their full menu of pubgrub (which includes real meals and not just fastfried garbage), Southside Johnny's wings are among my favourite in Toronto. Prepared by the owner's mother, a sweet elderly woman who loves to see folks enjoying her cooking, Johnny's suicide wings are zesty, smooth, always moist and meaty, and swimming in a thin but fiery sauce that's similar to (but better than) Duff's and with a pleasant, nutty aftertaste. Wing nights are Sundays, Mondays, and Wednesdays, when these large babies are available for .50 each, served in groups of ten. Down a basket with a frosty pint of Rickard's Red, drop a twonie for some Santana, and enjoy yourself.
This is a place for casual, unpretentiously good beer and solid food. Simple pleasures at its best. Go to relax, not to impress.
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