rev:text
| - Rex is sentimental...if nothing else. Which of course as you know...makes Rex nothing else. One thing Rex loves is when old friends meet new friends. Old Friend, sleeping off a bleach/ammonia high in a dumpster...meet New Friend...waking in the dumpster and finding an unused Groupon coupon. The sun was hot. The dumpster, or as I calling my "mobile home", was even hotter. The bad thing about "mobile homes" is that they are dirty, lumpy and usually smell like Kirstie Alley's bellybutton. The good thing is that sometimes you can meet someone and have a little...rendezvous. Guys...and I guess girls...if you meet a girl in a dumpster...there is a very good chance she is dead or easy...or both. Sometimes you might be tempted to hang in there if you realize that you are sharing it with a hooker who has a hacking cough. Don't. There are plenty of "mobile homes" out there. TB and an empty wallet sucks.
So obviously some rich bastard who has things like a home, indoor plumbing and a vacuum that will vacuum the floors on its own just through out this little piece of gold like he does his underwear with holes in it. (which by the way...found a "gently" used pair of underwear. nice.) Anyway, I was able to purchase 20 dollars of food from the Nevada Chicken Cafe. I started off on my long walk to what could potentially be...chicken nirvana. I was about 2.3 miles away. I got there 5 days later. It all started when I tried to walk an old lady across the street...and then...well...lets just say that it went wrong. I did think that Scottsdale was nice.
When I did arrive at the Nevada Chicken Cafe, a lovely Dutchman pulled me the last 30 miles on a sled. (Long story...but you will always pay your debts to Rex...and Rex knows his Mel's Diner trivia.) When Rex pulled up he was immediately struck by the smell. It was amazing. They had an outside grill/smoker going on and it was impressive. The chicken, ribs, spices, mesquite, all made me want to go in and order as much as I could.
Rex forced the Dutchman to order one whole chicken, one half chicken, a side of salad and it came with some BBQ sauce and tortillas. The tortillas were gratis. Gracias for the gratis. Rex found an empty mobile home and sat down with my feast. I was starving. Grave robbing is a lot more difficult than you would think. What is even more difficult is finding a landlord that will take a burial dress and skull in lieu of payment. Trust me...in Scottsdale no one has the kind of loot Princess Diana's had...not that Rex would know...anyway...
...for the equivalent of 21.50 Rex was well fed. Rex fed well for 2 meals. The chicken was excellent. The mesquite was subtle but flavorful. It didn't overpower the meat and was really good. The BBQ sauce is exceptional. Rex doesn't like an overly sweet sauce and this one isn't. It is well balanced and not too overpowering on the chicken. it works with the plain chicken better than the mesquite rubbed. Rex was so impressed he has gone back several times and tried the ribs and some other sides. The baby back ribs are among the best ribs in Las Vegas. They are fall off the bone and the extremely flavorful. The St. Louis ribs are good, but they aren't great. Rex didn't love that it wasn't sauced enough. The sauce is sweeter and that is fine, but St. Louis ribs should be HEAVILY sauced...and these aren't.
The chicken...well...when done right it is the best. It is a excellent piece of chicken. The problem is that there is no consistency. Rex has had dry pieces and he has had perfect pieces...and this is a MAJOR issue. If you are only doing a few things they have to be perfect. In fairness I have had more good than bad...but I have had enough bad to not necessarily want the crap shoot when I am paying good grave robbing money.
The sides are were everything falls apart. The Mac and Cheese...and Rex loves the mac and cheese...isn't good. Under seasoned (the only thing that is), and mash potatoes are so peppery it is of the charts. Rex loves pepper. He would roll himself in pepper and find a nice salt covered girl to mix with...but this is too much pepper. The fruit salad wasn't cleaned as well (the tough pieces) as it should be, and the mixed veggies were okay, but nothing great. The black beans were okay, but again nothing to write home about and didn't taste like they were simmered in a rich enough stock. The sweet potatoes were a real stand out and should be eaten as the side.
A huge special shout out for the garlic ranch sauce...get a few tubs of it. perfect with the chicken and the salad. Amazing taste.
Rex has dated his fair share of unstable women. It adds a little spice. A little mystery. A little arousal. Eventually no matter how good post release from jail sex can be...it is time to go. In his eateries Rex demands stability. Consistency. Reliability. Excellence. Rex is all of those things and more.
Spend your money and time on a shrine to Rex. He will spend his money on gas and whores.
|