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| - I don't expect a fancy parade of amazing service, offerings of exotic produce or a team of personal shoppers fawning over me when I go to the grocery store. Given that grocery shopping is already the bane of my life, I have really low expectations for the place where I purchase my impressive assortment of top ramen food products.
Seriously, I'm not shopping for organic baby prawn medleys and goose liver patte'... I just want to get in and purchase my run of the mill poor person foods like canned beans and frozen dinners. So when I say low expectations, I mean REALLY low expectations.
So it really says something about the Smith's that I would rather saw off my own foot than shop for my failure cuisine at their grocery store.
When someone that has been beaten by the poverty police and kicked in the face by life as much as I have doesn't want to shop at your store no matter how great your prices are, you have got some problems. I don't actually notice that the prices are much different than any other store in the area, though.
To be fair, I may not be noticing prices because of the instant seizure caused by walking into the herd of people always grazing around in the Smith's. The prices seem to be the same overinflated prices seen everywhere else in Las Vegas. Same high prices, same fake discounts.
The parking lot at the Smith's is absolutely insufferable. It's like parking at Walmart, but without the option to park really far away in hopes that your car won't be needlessly assaulted. You can always count on Smith's to give you that uneasy sensation you get when leaving your car in a suspicious lot. Any sense of relief you feel when finding your car unscathed at the end of the shopping trip will quickly subside when you try to leave and a number of cars pass behind you, almost collide with you, get in your way and speed.
Despite the anger and road rage you will feel in the Smith's parking lot, I think you can really count yourself lucky that none of these citizens of our fair city ran you over as a pedestrian.
When you get inside the store you might actually just have a panic attack and die. I always hope that is what will happen to me when I see that battlefield. To say that Smith's has an overcrowding problem is a laughable understatement. Smith's makes every day feel like Black Friday: You will bump into other people, wait in line to look at things and have trouble navigating the store through all that human garbage. I guess that is not too bad when you think about the hand-to-hand combat that could ensue should Smith's ever hold true to the Black Friday tradition and place an item on sale. (They are keeping us safe.)
Bring your hand sanitizer for all the awesome contact with humanity you'll be having at the Smith's!
I think the owner must be friends with the fire marshall because there is no way that place isn't over capacity at any given time. If it weren't for all the food in there I'd say it was like a third world country. Except, I guess third world countries do have food but no one can afford it. So it is pretty similar to a third world country. Without the charm.
I guess it is not fair to hold the business responsible for the fact that so many people descend on the store like the apocalypse is upon us. However, I can and do blame them for not staffing the store properly and relying almost exclusively on self-checkout. This causes all those people to become trapped in the store and creates a feeling desperation and taints the air with the smell of sweat. It also fills my heart with hate.
There is always a huge line of frustrated people clogging up the isle in the front of the store. There is only one isle with a person checking and it's always crammed, so people start to self-checkout with way too many items or when they are way too stupid to operate the sophisticated check out equipment. I hope the person who thought of self-checkout was put to death for his crime against humanity.
Once you are able to get to the front of the line, expect to get held up at least once because even of you are not purchasing alcohol the bagging area is very weight sensitive. In fact, Smith's is so concerned that you are going to steal from them that they force you to wait for an attendant because you dropped a ten cent packet of Koolaide. Then you have to wait for an eternity because Smith's has left the same person in charge of 8-10 stations and there are clearly a ton of people who should not be using self checkout to begin with.
Look, I'm not classy, I don't have any pride, I'm shopping at Smith's for crying out loud! Grocery shopping is a horrible chore and I hate it with a passion. Unfortunately Smith's makes a chore feel like a war. I shouldn't have to take a nap afterwards.
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