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| - It's my own fault, you're going to say when reading this.
I had an ear infection in May.
Went to a handy walk-in clinic in Leslieville (not this one).
Got drops, ear infection went away, but my right ear got clogged behind my ear drum. Don't get excited, it's not that Instagram -worthy wax plug that comes out by irrigating it. It's a fetid pool of fluid BEHIND the drum that is making me deaf.
Went back the same clinic. Got more drops cuz fungus.
Ear still clogged. Went to my family doctor where I should have gone in the first place but no, too lazy, I'm so fucking lazy I deserve to be deaf. It's now early June. Family doctor referred me to a ENT specialist because my ear is lLITERALLY WHISTLING when I blow my nose. I'd laugh if it was your ear but it's mine.
I wait a week, finally the referral appointment comes through...it's for JULY 30. UGH Thanks, Obama, I can't wait this long. Some lady in my spin class tell me of this clinic I am writing about that will fix ears right on the spot. It happened to her son apparently. The doctor drained his ear and he walked away 10 minutes later like nothing happened.
I go to the clinic, the doctor is nice enough but he says my eardrum is either punctured or clogged. He referred me to their very own ENT specialist who will be in their office June 15, two weeks before my hospital appointment. I am somewhat disappointed but grateful nonetheless.
June 15 rolls around and I run to the appointment.
I am always excited to meet doctors because I have so many questions and I'm so bodily obsessed.
This fucking doctor looked like he came out of a coffin. He was wearing a shiny wrinkly suit from your Chinese gramma's tickle trunk and he reeked of moth balls. He spoke pigeon English and could not understand my story. He looked in my ear and saw NOTHING ...of course he didn't, he was 200 years old and blind and not even a doctor but some crazy mofo extra from a 1950s horror movie. He filled a syringe of water and that's when I should have bolted but I was paralyzed with fear. He blasted my ear til water went through my nose and then he looked inside and said: "oh you have a hole there and probably 20 percent hearing loss. But you don't tell me how it happened so I can't help you." I TOLD YOU I GOT AN EAR INFECTION IN MAY. Oh my God. He gave me a prescription of ear drops which I threw away. That was a week ago and my ear and nose are still leaking water. At least I still have my hospital appointment to look forward to.
The upside of being deaf is that I sleep like an angel with y good ear buried in the pillow. White noise is the answer.
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