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  • As I shuffled up to the counter, my eyes heavy from a night of drunken abandon, I noticed the guy working the counter at Krispy Kreme looked like 1990s Minnesota Twins baseball player Jeff Reboulet. I wanted to order his mustache but I realized it wasn't on the menu, so I investigated what pastries I could eat instead. I was so hungry that I felt compelled to order more doughnuts than I needed. "Give me 18 dozen old fashioned doughnuts, a cow that I can milk in my hotel room, and a Do Not Disturb sign" is what I wanted to say. Sadly, my command over the English language was still picking itself off the floor of a bar somewhere, so I did the best I could to express myself. What I actually ended up saying was, "Heeeeeey, gonna order some food now 'n stuff." I probably sounded like Spicoli after a lobotomy. Jeff Reboulet was not having my staccato sentence structure and told me with his steely old baseball player eyes to order, and order fast. Dude looked miserable, downtrodden, cantankerous that day, so I obliged. This Krispy Kreme has the tepid freshness of an airport doughnut shop. The donuts aren't super moist or entirely satisfactory, but when you're on Fremont Street all you want is some quick sugar to jump start your villainy. Go forth, young man, and discover mediocrity!
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