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  • landmark definition landmark (-märk) noun 1. any fixed object used to mark the boundary of a piece of land 2. any prominent feature of the landscape, as a tree or building, serving to identify a particular locality 3. an event, discovery, etc. considered as a high point or turning point in the history or development of something. What's this, you say? You're 'old-fashioned' AND 'neighbourly'? You have been known to dispense in generous quantities? You've been open since 1969 and were formerly owned by Gus Pieters (previous owner of Peter's Drive-In)? Then, come on down! Spin the wheel and roast in the collective embers of this city's historic culinary mediocrity! Here's the formula for your GUARANTEED success: 1) As aforementioned, once MUST place an emphasis on being called a 'landmark.' That's it! Just tell em' you've been around a LONG time! The longer the better! How bad could a place be if it's been around 40 plus years?! 2) Create a small, albeit unremarkable kitsch appeal that will somehow add to that 'old fashioned' charm we talked about earlier. Not too fancy now. Maybe an arcade machine? Or two? How about frogger? I loved frogger as a kid! Who didn't?! They don't make games like they used to... 3) Create an environment for staff that is almost laid back enough to the point where seeming like you are 'trying' would be off-putting. C'mon. Sometimes a chap just wants to coddle his beef. It's been a long day! 4) Pick a supplier, any supplier. Sysco? Get in there, bad boy! Come up with a 'homemade' sauce. Remember, it's a secret! Now, feed those hungry masses! Big portions! No discerning palates here! The first, and possibly only time a Genesis song will be quoted.: You've been here all the time Like it or not, like what you got You're under the soil (the soil, the soil) Yes, deep in the soil (the soil, the soil, the soil!) So we'll end up with a whistle and end with a bang and all of us fit in our places.
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