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http://www.openvoc.eu/poi#funnyReviews
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http://www.openvoc.eu/poi#usefulReviews
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  • I came in with low expectations and left with more pain then I came in with... This is going to be a long review but so much went wrong I have to share. I got a groupon for a couple's massage just like Stella C's review. What went wrong: - Door sign says take a seat if door is closed. After waiting a bit, i knocked and walked in and she was on her computer and didn't bother to check if anyone was outside - The guy who was supposed to massage my gf came late (45mn late). Wen he showed up he said "metro was down" although we overheard her literally yelling on the phone to him saying he should be here on time - During this 45mn wait time after our scheduled massage no water or any refreshments where offered as well as a meager apology. She stayed on her computer watching, with the sound of it, some weird cat videos the whole time lol - The place looks dodgy for real and just because you put spa music doesn't make it not dodgy - They are not professionals since they have a degree in "chinese alternative medicine" whatever that is... - The massage started off weirdly with her akwardly rubbing me and I asked her to actually massage me and make it a bit harder - Her massage consisted in these actions repeated over and over again (not joking I swear): akward prodding, rocking my body back and forth, rapid strong rubbing, more prodding. There was actually no massage at any point in time. My favorite highlites (it gets better): - ZERO communication as to what I wanted or areas to focus on - She used hot stones...not only where they too hot (possibly second degree burn lol) but she would take like 10mn cycles/breaks to prepare them so I was alwardly waiting on the massage table - At one point she literally pounced on the massage table to akwardly apply pressure to my upper back and lower - I did not get the luxury of having a blanket since they did not have a second one so I got a towel - The massage chair face part was covered with tissues not actual proper "paper" - I literally got SLAPPED and patted on the body as part of the massage - I came out in more pain since she literally went John Cena with her elbow in my back. My gf had the same issues with the dude. Circular 8's and intense rubbing although he threw in some face caresses as a bonus. --' If you are reading this, honestly do not go. If you think, eh, it is cheap why not go. I am repeating DO NOT GO. This place is a joke for real and I spent 10mn of my time to write this to you because that is how strongly I feel about how bad this place is. They are not professionals and both my gf and I came out of this place feeling worse then when we came in.
http://www.openvoc.eu/poi#coolReviews
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