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  • Narcisse is a funny place because it advertises that being narcissistic is a good thing. The decor has these decorative, novelty mirrors on the walls because Narcissus, blah blah blah. Thing is, I don't think they're being ironic or making any sort of comment on society being so shallow, I think it's legitimately like a very "greed is good" kind of admission of character. It's not satire. It's Scottsdale. The color scheme is purple. Purple, purple everywhere. As such, I felt like I was in that one scene in Batman (1989) where the Joker poisons everyone and Kim Bassinger has to put on that red gas mask. I've spent a lot of time describing what the place looks like, much more than I typically do, but I feel like it is an important part of the overall experience of coming here. Look, for $10, you get bottomless "bubbles," which... I thought was adorable that they kept saying "bubbles!" but it turns out that at these kinds of places, everyone thinks they're a champagne expert, which is kind of funny because it's $10, so if they don't say bubbles or something adorable, people will get pissed. If you wanted to have classy sparkling wine, $10 would be the smartest use of money since Steve Jobs invested in Pixar. There's no need to complain unless you think that your snob muscle is getting flabby. Everything else is reasonably priced, too. My breakfast burrito was pretty damn big and cost something like $9. Don't get me wrong. It was bland. It certainly wasn't bad, but it was like a rough approximation of a breakfast burrito and executed without all the love. I wouldn't recommend coming here unless your mission, really, is to have a group of people get kind of sauced in the morning and have some laughs, plug your gut with some food and probably pass out a couple hours later by a pool.
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