"When was the last time you had Fuddrucker's?" I curiously asked a coworker of mine.
"It's been a looooong time" he proclaimed.
"Good, keep it that way!" I said with a mighty fervor.
Listen, this place used to be somewhere you could get a decent burger, now it is a place that you can get a blandly flavored microwavable piece of gray meat with a Kraft single half melted on top. Oh and the bun tasted like it was pulled from the food storage bin in my uncle's fall-out shelter in "Sector 7" near the Canadian border. I wouldn't feed this burger to a starving Syrian refugee who is denouncing Allah and proclaiming me as his new prophet and savior, for fear that he would spit it out immediately and have his hooded friend take my head off.
What happened to Fuddrucker's? I guess I shouldn't expect too much from a company that is owned and ran by Luby's. Has anyone under the age of 50 ever been to a Luby's? Not unless you are kid who is temporarily in town visiting his grandparents and they force you to go to the early bird special at 3pm on Tuesday.
"Grandma, when's dinner?" the young boy asks.
"You already had it, now drink this warm glass of milk and go to bed." she said at 6pm on Tuesday evening.
But hey, maybe that's what Fuddruckers is going for. I hear cafeteria grade food is all the rage now! Well for me, I guess I'll stick to someplace with higher quality standards like McDonald's or Circle K.
I feel like if Fuddrucker's was a Mortal Kombat character it's fatality move would be serving up a cheeseburger, charging you $13, and then forcing you to eat it. Followed by a booming voice from above that proclaims "Flawless victory!!!!!"