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| - Here's 10 great things (and 3 not-so-great) about Gold Coast, my hotel of choice since the Center Strip Inn closed in the 90s.
10 GREAT THINGS
1. It's one of a few places that has Bingo. Bingo is fun. Bingo only costs $6-20 an hour for paper packs (or $24-$32 for machines if you are drunk or OCD). And when you are "on" (bingo speak for when you are just one number away from winning), and you're ready to pop, that delayed gratification makes Bingo seriously more exciting than slots, poker, table games, as you keep waiting for that one number. Bonus: Bingo has free donuts in the morning and $1 popcorn later. There's a bar right there if you don't want to wait for a server. Bingo makes you feel younger than you really are. Bingo lets you giggle when you hear "O 69" or say things about tumors when your hear 'B9".
2. It has 24 hour bowling. Like all day, all night. Like if someone says, "What do you want to do now?", the answer can always be bowling. Always.
3. Ok, Sam's Town has bingo and bowling too, but Gold Coast has a better location: it's across the street from Rio (arguably the best buffet), right off the freeway. If you want to get to the Strip, there's a free shuttle.
4. It's "small", which comes in handy when you want to grab something out of your car... it's like right outside in one of the two parking garages. And I literally bumped into people from my party as we crossed paths or shared tables. LITERALLY. Like a movie when the hot girl in glasses drops her books, but replace books with casino hot dog and hot girl with brother-in-law's friend Dewayne who goes swimming in lieu of a shower. (Oh, yeah, there's a pool)
5. The Ports O' Call buffet is a good deal... and the Sunday brunch is crazy. At 8am, I passed on the traditional stuff and had turkey breast and mashed potatoes and gravy, self-made chicken fajita guacamole burrito, chow mein, bread pudding. Tip: Get the free Gold Coast "B Connected" card if not just for the $1-2 off.
6. TGIF, is open 24 hours, with room service, and BOGO entree with bingo receipt. Bingo and TGIF are the 1-2 punch that keep us coming back. See separate review for Fridays.
7. The bowling alley bar. It's no-nonsense, nothing special, except that it's empty. The area downstairs is great for betting sports, but not watching sports: it's literally got high school desks or private monitors like a computer lab. The bowling alley bar only has 4 games on, but it is usually empty --- so empty you can hear pins drop.
8. At least three $5 blackjack tables, some "non-smoking".
9. The little things: 24 hr Subway, $2 water/soda machines every floor, (small) hot tub, the wi-fi actually works, the pool bathroom is heated, the Cortez Room is nice (separate review), free safe, the coupon book (if you're lucky), and the bingo bathrooms smell really good, like Skittles farts.
10. Gold Coast has at least 1/3 Chinese people, old people, fat people, drunk locals, and people in cowboy hats, (sometimes all in one), but one weekend a year, the classic car show on Easter weekend attracts the rockabilly types that pretty up the place.
THE NOT-SO-GREAT
1. The open "main bar" (a rectangle of video games that seats 24 or so) was a little shady. On three different occasions, I (or the person next to me) asked the bartender for the price of drinks, and they would not could not give us a straight answer. They said stuff like "$200 if you're not doing well". Eventually, we figured out that they were $4 or so if you weren't playing the games and $1.25 if you were, but that shadiness was worth mentioning. The drinks were a little weak- just think of each drink as 1/3 a drink. Three do the trick of one. Six do the trick of two. Nine, three. Twelve, and you'll take the cast of American Horror Story Freak Show to bed. Or Dewayne.
2. Damn fine value, but don't forget to add the mandatory resort fee for all the "amenities" you think are included... (but that seems to be the case everywhere now, right?)
3. Bring a hair clip to keep the curtains closed.
4. The out of room wi-fi sucks.
5. The standard rooms are a great deal, pretty roomy and clean, but they have prison like bathrooms. There was no tub, so my shower water was slowly creeping toward my wife a foot away with a hair dryer. (Take note, Dateline). And though the shower was adjustable in height, the height was inexplicably 4'3" to 5'8. And with no counter space, we had to put our (her) toiletries on the ironing board. And the view (if you have an odd # room) is of the air-conditioner museum, aka the dirty casino roof. (An even # gets you the mountain view and a parking lot). And, there's no fridge. Not cool. Literally.
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