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  • When you walk down the carpeted stairs to Danforth Bowl you will notice a placard urging the removal of your boots and/or shoes. In the time it takes you to cock your head in confusion and ask yourself, "when exactly?" you will have descended, and a sharp right turn shall meet you with the threshold of a bowling alley the size and volume of a municipal swimming pool. This is when to remove the shoes. Otherwise, you will commit my gaffe which was to walk in unhesitatingly to greet my friends. I was quickly admonished by a gruff man behind a bar (*the* bar, really) to take off my shoes. I protested that I intended to rent shoes in a moment. "You still have to take of your shoes," was the curt reply. So I retreated to the landing to remove them. Unlike other bowling alleys, bowl-related transactions are to be done in your sock feet until that moment you are shod in the requisite footwear. This is a first for me. Danforth Bowl is six lanes of Old School five-pin bowling splendour. The décor is an acute hybrid of 'Cohen brothers film' and 'rec room from 1982'. There are wood panelled walls, a flickering neon sign proclaiming Budweiser, a solitary disco ball spinning at 12 RPM, a hand-painted sign imploring patrons to "join a bowling league NOW," and ample black light. Oh, and great music too. A little bit of everything. When I say Old School, I mean paper scorecards and manual resetting of the pins. I didn't see the name Brunswick anywhere, and there are no overhead TVs to view your score. There is no waiter service; just grab your beers from the bar. I also spotted a small wine fridge in case you prefer a little Shiraz whilst lobbing balls down lanes. Foodwise, I don't think there is much, but I saw a sign indicating that if you call ahead they can arrange hot snacks for you. Otherwise I think you're stuck with potato chips. If you are looking for something to do. Obligatory Title Pun: You'll be BOWLED over. Menu Readability: There's another sign which reads "Meet new friends and have fun." Words to live by. Need to mention: I have no idea how much this costs. I paid $30 for two hours of bowling and shoe rental. Is that right? What this place teaches me about myself: if I was in a Cohen brothers movie, I would be killed in the first reel. In a bowling alley no doubt.
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