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  • I need a mail box for my business. That transaction would appear straightforward, right? Just show up, toss them money, pick out a box, and soon you'll be reading Viagra ads and Giant Eagle fuel perks flyers. Ever have one of those experiences where you keep looking around, for a hidden camera? These people can't possibly be doing this stuff on purpose, right? They can't be this incompetent. Please tell me this is a joke. Here's the timeline: Rented a box, got the "notify me by e-mail if I have mail" feature, that way I don't have to stop by every day to peek into that depressingly empty box. I intentionally haven't used the new box number, because I wanted to make sure the notification system worked, first. Month goes by, nothing. Not even junk mail. I'm just about to mail a piece of phantom mail of my own, just to test the system when... Phone rings. Saturday afternoon. Guy at the Broadview Heights post office, asks if I have received any mail. Uh, no. Why? "Oh, we thought your box was vacant, so we gave it to somebody else." But. But. But... I, uh, PAID for a year. "Yeah, so we gave you a different box." What? "We assigned you a different box." Sheesh. So, they say I have to come in, exchange keys, get the new keys. Brother. So I dutifully (and stupidly) do as told, show up, stand in the obligatory line, talk with THREE people, and no one can figure it out. "Call Tony tomorrow. Here's his number." Oh, sure. I'll waste another hour of my ever-dwindling life in this futile attempt to get some sort of return on my investment. You people deserve to be unemployed. I'm pretty sure there's no hidden camera. But there is a joke. It's on the consumer. "Dealings with our United States Postal System are not unlike wiping your own ass with a hoop, in that there is no end to it." Herman Melville
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