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| - As I lie here on the couch with the worst stomach cramps imaginable (hoping that death comes soon), I curse Avanti under my breathe. Yesterday was Valentine's Day and it was chaos! We made our reservations months ago and we were both really excited to go. My boyfriend had been many times, years ago, but I had never been.
The decor is very "Scarface" (think 1980's nightclub/strip club). When we walked into the bar, I asked my boyfriend where the stripper poles were (mirrors are everywhere and there is black and white leopard fabric on the booths--seemed like a legitimate question). It was fun though, in a retro kind of way. We sat in the bar and had a drink while we waited for the hostess line (which was out the door) to die down (it never did). They hired a temp bartender to handle the extra volume but they waited to hire her until that afternoon. The poor thing didn't know where anything was. Total disaster!
When we were done with our drinks, we went into the dining room, but we had to seat ourselves. Apparently, the hostess had told my boyfriend where our table was and then directed him to seat himself because she was too busy. Interesting strategy.
The tables were practically on top of each other (the owner really packed them in) and were so close that you could hear every conversation--it was like sitting at a community table. Not exactly the best environment for Valentine's Day. We ended up befriending the couple at the table six inches to the right of us, which was nice, but odd, considering the special day.
The food took forever (each course took 30 to 45 minutes to be delivered to the table). We sat ourselves at our table at 6:30 pm and didn't get our check until 9 pm. We shared an appetizer, and then we both had a salad and an entree. For an appetizer we shared the stuffed shrimp (two shrimps for $14). They arrived cold but had good flavor. We both had Caesar salads, which didn't have any croutons, but tasted okay. We weren't offered fresh cracked pepper (standard practice), which really irritated me. We both had the Osso Bucco for an entree. It was so salty, I couldn't eat more than two bites! I slammed two glasses of water afterwards. There was so much salt, I could hear the crunch of the salt crystals after the second bite. It tasted like they just dumped salt on the dish. It was very tender though. The lady at the table next to us ordered some pork dish and because we were practically sharing a table, I heard her tell her husband that there were clumps of unmixed corn starch in the gravy on her dish. She was pretty grossed out.
Additionally, I did not enjoy the cattle call method the front of the house started to use to seat people. As the evening wore on, they took to shouting out names! You're trying to have a romantic evening and then some guy shouts, "Tim, your table is ready! TIM!!" Even sports bars use pagers so they don't have to scream your name.
I also figured out that they increased the cost for all the dishes on their limited Valentine's Day menu. So, their winning business model on a romantic holiday appears to be: cram too many people into the restaurant, jack up the prices, decrease the portion sizes, offer poor quality food that takes forever to get, and top it off with lackluster service. Great strategy for repeat business! Which brings me to my last complaint. When we got home, I was hoping to forget the whole night and just relax. Didn't happen. I spent the entire night (and most of today) in the bathroom, sick as a dog. Very romantic. I have no idea what made me so sick, but if I had to venture a guess, it was probably the Caesar salad dressing (homemade dressing uses raw eggs). I'm now laid up on the couch, missing work, and drinking Pepto Bismol like my life depends on it.
Bottom line: This restaurant probably lived up to its reputation many years ago, but its standards for quality appear to have evaporated. Visit this place at your own risk.
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