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| - I have recently scoured the depths of the internet trying to find a decent review of That's Italiano. It is only AFTER I have returned from eating there that I begin to find information on this restaurant. Humph! I'm a little upset... Joke.
Anyways, it's a lovely evening back in the good ol' Phoenix area and I have once again just stepped off a plane and am pretty much dying of hunger; only, it's not just regular type hunger, it's lasagna type hunger. Then I remember that there is this pretty neat looking place next to the dry cleaners I've been going to, that I have wanted to try for a while.
As usual I am by myself, so all of the cliche jokes about my "Party?... Party of ONE!" apply. Though again, despite the fact I am by myself and probably going to go home and write about my experience on Yelp! Does NOT make me a loner, loser, cheapskate or any other name you can think of, but apparently they thought so.
The first gal I talked to had me walk her to the table I wanted (I certainly had my selection as only three other tables were occupied) and left me with a smile and a menu, and in all fairness I must say that she was by far the most attentive and energetic person working in the restaurant that evening.
Shortly there after a guy brought me a basket of bread and oil and walked away to finish putting new butcher paper on every table and rearranging the glasses and silverware to be presentable for tomorrow's crowd.
Roughly seven minutes later, after trying to position the menu in every way possible to signal, "Hey! Look over here, me, me, me... I'm ready to order now!" Another new waitress came to my table and apologized for the misunderstanding, she thought the other girl was taking care of me. All the while the guy with the bread was organizing the tables around me, but never thought to mention that I just might be waiting for some help.
I then ordered the lasagna, a glass of wine to go with dinner and a side salad and at this particular moment I'm not sure any of those were really the right choice.
First, let's start with the bread (the one bright spot) HOLY HEAVENLY supposedly fresh baked bread! Without the vegetable oil w/ cheese you were magnificent! With the funky oil and cheese? Meh...
Then came my salad, apparently people have a difficult time chilling things that should be cold prior to serving them to me. I am again of the camp that believes salad should not look like Detroit in late February (ie. freezing), but should also not be sweating because it has been sitting at slightly higher than room temperature in the kitchen for the last six hours. The "Italian dressing" was really more like "I can't believe it's not butter-ian dressing." In addition they do not offer a dinner salad, you must purchase the $4.50 regular salad... maybe, just maybe a buck fifty and I might do it again, four fifty... "hellz" no!
At this point I am really hoping that my lasagna tastes like winning Powerball when the jackpot reaches 993 trillion, because if not, well this restaurant has a lot to be desired.
Then just as I am dreaming of the cheesy goodness that is lasagna, out of the kitchen it comes in all its glory.
Only one problem... it is just a piece of lasagna that I'm pretty sure they baked a pan of earlier in the day stuck on the plate with two gobs of meat sauce on either side and sprinkled with oregano or some other spice to add decoration.
Considering I am paying $12.50 for this nondescript overcooked noodle concoction, I would recommend that maybe they put the plate in a burning garbage can to add some excitement and possibly flavor. I'm so under whelmed at this point that I try to hustle through it and my "house" red wine; which was comparable to Trader Joe's three buck chuck (damn, you mean I could have gotten a bottle for what I paid for a glass?).
After finishing 85% of the lasagna and chugging the wine I called it a night. Sorry That's Italiano, with all the potential you have to be a classy, unique, wonderful Italian restaurant... you've got a ways to go.
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