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  • Main Moon Chinese Restaurant, dine in or take out, provides me with one of the great mysteries of life: How it is that Americanized Chinese food from Stow, Ohio tastes better to me than 99% of Americanized Chinese food from Chinatown, San Francisco? Conversation between my sarcastic-ass Dad and me regarding Main Moon: Sparky: I bet this really sucks rotten, raw eggs compared to what you are used to eating, Katie. Me: Actually, this is far better than almost all of the Chinese restaurants I've ever dined at in San Francisco. Sparky: What in hell are you talking about? You really are nucking futz, Kate - you used to live in Chinatown! Me: Most Americanized Chinese food in San Francisco sucks, Dad. Sparky: But, it's Chinatown, Kate! It's CHINATOWN. Me: By the way, Dad - you do know that the movie Chinatown takes place in Los Angeles, not San Francisco - right? Sparky: It doesn't take place in Stow, Ohio, either. Me: I know it doesn't make sense, but Dad, trust me... if I took you to a takeout Chinese joint in San Francisco you wouldn't like it. Sparky: I highly doubt that to be true. Come on! Do a Jack Nicholson impression for me. Me: Dad - they put peas in Wonton soup and use beef broth instead of chicken. Everything seems to come with egg in it. Like scrambled eggs. And, I once found part of a chicken foot in my Lo Mein. Sparky: But, it's CHINATOWN, Kate. Me: Look, I'm not saying that the authentic Chinese restaurants are better than this... I don't think I've actually been to an authentic Chinese restaurant besides for dim sum. So, I don't know. But, as far as Americanized Chinese food - I won't eat it in San Francisco except from one place... and, even then I only get one particular dish. Main Moon, rocks, though. Sparky: It's Chinatown, Kate! Me: Stop saying that, Dad! People are beginning to look at you funny. Sparky: Do the Jack Nicholson and I'll stop. Me: ... Sparky: IT'S CHINATOWN, KATE! Maybe it is that they don't put peas in their wonton soup. Perhaps there is something to be said for ala dente Wontons and Lo Mein. Maybe it's that I ate the meal with the Chinatown obsessed (it IS one of his two favorite movies) Sparkmeister. It's actually such a shame that I think Main Moon is so tasty - as after his antics I don't know if I'll be able to return anytime soon. If he'd been quoting from his OTHER favorite movie, I know for sure I'd never be able to show my face in this restaurant again... "Guess what I am now... Pppfffffttttttt!!!! A zit! Get it?" (And, if you don't know that quote I am highly suspect of you.)
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