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  • LADIES! Is it "that" time of the month? Feeling pissy? Feeling aggro? FEELING LIKE YOU JUST WANT TO FUCKING SMASH AND DESTROY EVERYFUCKINGTHING IN SIGHT?!?!???? I feel your pain...and I've found the answer: THROW SOME MOTHER FUCKING AXES!!! I was suffering horrendous PMS the other day, and had all the above symptoms -- basically, blinding RAGE! Out of the blue, a friend called to ask if I wanted to come throw some axes with him that night. DO I WANT TO THROW SOME AXES?!?!? As a matter of fact, that's EXACTLY what I want to do...I just didn't know it!! Or realize that it was such an affordable option!!!! The feeling of flinging heavy sharp objects as hard as you can is the ultimate stress relief. I'll be honest; it didn't even matter so much to me whether I hit the target or not -- even when I just flung the fucking axe and it smacked into the wall and bounced around, it felt GOOD...REAL GOOD!!!! Although it was also very satisfying to land the axe in the target, and feel it penetrate the wood...then swagger over and yank it out; I guess axe-throwing is good for penis envy, too :-) After only a half hour of axe throwing, a feeling of peace came over me. I was drained... calmed... and totally spent, as if I'd just had the most intense AXEGASM of my life! I was sweaty and physically tired, but also mentally calm; I went home, put on Lifetime Channel, drank a bottle of wine, ate a half gallon of Ben & Jerry's....and drifted off into peaceful slumber. Ahhhhhh....much better :-) I never understood the allure of shooting ranges or boxing gyms, but OMG I totally get it now. Every violent felon or anyone in danger of becoming a violent felon should do this regularly, as a way to safely vent all that excess rage. There should be one of these at every Gold's Gym and in every prison (with adequate safety measures, LOL). Not even kidding, gals -- TRY IT! I think they are even planning a weekly ladies' night, with special pricing. Either way, you'll find me there in 28 days....flinging away my PMAxe!!!!
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