Have you seen the Thor movie?
Are you least somewhat familiar with the Marvel comics character?
No, I refuse to believe that you know a guy named Thor. No, I'm sorry.
You know those discs that are on the torso of his get-up?
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/41/Thor-272.jpg
Kuhn's is now selling coconut chocolate chip cookies that are of the same circumference of those discs. You could injure combatants with them, block projectiles with them.
Not really. They're just too soft, egregiously ooey gooey...
Coconut is the most underappreciated cookie ingredient.
If some bakery in the East End were selling these cookies, there'd be at least 50 reviews of them by now, but no, these cookies can only be found in a supermarket in the South Hills of Pittsburgh, the forbidden land where hipster angels fear to tread. Make the journey.
They also have a terrific potato salad that can be gotten from their deli. Order a pint to go along with your cookies and some Schneider's Iced Tea to wash it all down, and you'll make a startling transformation!