| rev:text
| - I can't believe these people managed to leech a $100 from me to attend this unforgivable clusterf-ck.
The only thing I can imagine possibly rationalizing the bad food, bad entertainment, and bad venue is that... well... I suppose it's possible that stereotypical Italian weddings really are like this... and the reason that I simply don't "get" any of it is due to the fact that I'm not even close to being Italian.
WORST... SHOW... EVER.
I can't adequately emphasize how bad this show was. I mean, this was just bad. BAD, BAD, BAD. It absolutely reached new, never-before-seen levels of badness. Historians will mark this day as the day in humanity's timeline where not just badness but extreme, prehistoric badness was discovered.
In order illustrate the insane & unbridled badness of this show, let me recant some of my thoughts during the more memorable moments I had during this show:
--- [What the...? Why is this Sopranos-type-guy forcing us to take a picture with him? $20? For a photo I didn't even want to take in the first place? I thought we were going to a theatre of some sort. Why are we traversing hallways along the ass end of the hotel?]
--- [This sure is a long walk to BFE. Wait... We're going outdoors... on to the ROOF of the casino? They're actually making us walk outside to go to the show venue? There's puddles all over the place. They couldn't even build an overhang?]
--- [Oh, now you've gotta be sh-ttin' me. This is the room? This... this... STORAGE room in the back of the hotel is where the performance is? God, this has got to be the worst dinner theatre venue I've ever seen.]
--- [So, actors are supposed to come entertain us while we eat? Really? Cripes, the cast is just loud & arbitrary. There had better be some good food to make up for all of this.]
--- [OMG. Did I really pay $100 for cheap pasta in aluminum pans served buffet style? I feel like I'm eating camp food. God, I'm such an idiot for buying these tickets.]
--- [Oh for f-ck's sake, they're coming toward us... pleasedon'tsithere pleasedon'tsithere pleasedon'tsi... HIIIIII THERE. So. You're one of the actors are you. Well, ain't that a hoot. Well, don't mind me while I create a log cabin here with my cheap overstarched pasta.]
--- [When... WHEN is this going to end? Wait. Did it end? That's it? I dunno. I guess so. Alright. Off to Nobu's.]
SO, UH, THE PERFORMANCE WASN'T TOO GOOD 'EH?
I seriously don't know what kind of person finds this catastrophe funny. All it is, is semi-organized chaos amongst poorly motivated improvisational actors. (I'm not going to torch the actors being that I'm sure some of them might be able to showcase their talent had they been given some decent part in a real show.) There is just absolutely nothing humorous about this show and I'd rather be forced to attend timeshare sales pitches with my eyelids taped open than see this disaster again.
AND I TAKE IT THE FOOD WASN'T GREAT EITHER?
For the record, I've been to strip clubs with buffets better than what they served at Tony & Tina's Wedding. The difference is, no one touches the food at a strip club buffet. Here, it's your only frickin' option, so we starved ourselves by abstaining for eating any more of the food and held out for dinner elsewhere after the show. After all - what's the point in going to Vegas - a city with glorious restaurants everywhere - if you're going to have to fill your gullet with cheap pasta worse than what you'd get out of a hospital commissary?
CONCLUSION:
This show isn't just bad, it's a complete waste of valuable Vegas trip time. It actually made me angry to have been taken for so much money for such an awful show. I wouldn't go see it again even if you got a bare-assed naked Jessica Alba to personally bring me a bounty of 10,000 gold coins and whisper unspeakable things in my ear. Yes. That bad.
In fact, the only Vegas show that I can think of that was as bad as this was the Hawaiian Luau at the Imperial Palace, and big surprise... guess what rating I gave that worthless wonder?
ONE-STAR!
----------------
HOWTO: "BIDE YOUR TIME WHILE WAITING FOR THE SHOW TO END"
If for some reason you find yourself at this godforsaken atrocity, I should tell you that there was one entertaining moment in the whole night.
People were drinking a lot of cheap wine during the show. Combine that with lukewarm pasta that has the tendency to expand in your stomach and you've got yourself the potential for a lot of... [ahem]... "upset stomachs".
As a result, there were quite a few people hurriedly making a break for the exits during the latter part of the show, so as people got up, my wife & I played a little game called, "Barf or Sh-t". The goal is to simply determine what the motivation is for a given couple's rapid exit from the theatre. Try it & you may find the second half of the show goes by a bit faster.
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)
![[cxml]](/fct/images/cxml_doc.png)
![[csv]](/fct/images/csv_doc.png)
![[text]](/fct/images/ntriples_doc.png)
![[turtle]](/fct/images/n3turtle_doc.png)
![[ld+json]](/fct/images/jsonld_doc.png)
![[rdf+json]](/fct/images/json_doc.png)
![[rdf+xml]](/fct/images/xml_doc.png)
![[atom+xml]](/fct/images/atom_doc.png)
![[html]](/fct/images/html_doc.png)