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| - 3...2...1.. BLAST OFF! Okay, so it's a tacky, horribly-chosen angle, but by God I want you to read this review. Don't hold that first sentence against me, I'm about to do you a whole lot of favors. Why? Because Galaxie Diner is... wait for it... out of this world!
OooOoh. That one stung the copywriter in me. Let's move on.
First of all, "Theme" restaurants are often like "Theme" parks. Hit and miss. There's some great ones, of course, but for every great theme park you'll find a few that creep you out with too-handsy mascots and lame, forced ride names like "THE INCREDIBLE HULK'S INCREDIBLE TOPSY-TURVY RAGE COASTER!". Yuck.
Luckily, Galaxie Diner knocks it out of the park with their open-kitchen concept and 1940's charm. As literally every other reviewer has said, it's tiny. For a place called "Galaxie" it sure doesn't have much... wait for it... space.
Man, that's so bad it's good.
Very limited seating, tight aisle-ways and not a whole lot of elbow room - so prepare to stand in line, squish in a booth and make nice with your neighbors. After all, you're about to overhear all of their conversations.
And that's actually one of the perks. I was chatting with my friend about an upcoming concert when one of the servers whipped around and asked, "Awesome, are you going?!". Yes, friendly, smiling man in plaid. I AM going. Suddenly the server, my friend and I were chatting like old friends and it wasn't even creepy at all. It was like going in a time machine to an era when people didn't stare stupidly into their iPhones while conversing with each other or wear iPods on the train ride to avoid having to - heaven forbid - talk to people they don't know.
But before I start waxing poetic on the human condition, let's talk about hashbrowns.
I ordered the Calgary Sandwich, mostly because it had so much stuff packed on it that I figured it would have to break multiple scientific laws to not be good. Eggs, cheese, mushrooms, onions, green onions, tomatoes, banana peppers, bacon, beef sausage, mayo. I triple dare you to find a combination of those items that isn't amazing.
My roommate ordered the Montreal Smoked Hash, which he absolutely swears by. At his behest, we also both got vanilla milkshakes.
Now while the place might be small, portion sizes are HUGE and the hashbrowns never end. It's sort of like when you'd visit your grandma and she'd keep on piling things on to your plate, like slices of toast, and insisting, "EAT! You're a growing boy!" (sidenote: Roughly 75% of you just had a warm, happy flashback right there. You're welcome.)
It's a greasy-spoon, come hungry, leave limping setup that really works. Be prepared to have to undo some buttons and have your friends help you out of the booth. Don't worry, you'll run it off later.
There were so many things I wanted to order off the menu that I'll have to come back.
But the one thing I need emphasize here is that the milkshakes were incredible. Don't waste your time with fancy flavors, go straight to the Vanilla. They're huge, frothy, heartwarming and rich - like an overweight, affectionate billionaire. Best I've had in the city, bar none.
Go here for (all day) breakfast. Have a milkshake. Shut off your iPhone. Enjoy.
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