| rev:text
| - First off, I didn't stay here. I only gambled, played poker, and hung out at the bungalows. A friend of my brother's did stay here and rented a bungalow for the afternoon. Normally the going rate is around $1000, but I think our group ended up paying half that much. Who says there aren't bright spots in a recession? The fee comes with a certain food and drink allotment. We were served sliders, fish tacos, and mini-quesadillas by a woman wearing some sort of purple harem costume. She also brought fresh juices for mixers. As I was drinking and gambling the night before and had skipped breakfast, the screwdriver and finger-food combination was remedial.
The bungalows overlook the pool area - which resembles the set of Fantasy Island if Fantasy Island was a music video from 1987 instead of a TV show from 1978. It wasn't particularly hot or sunny that afternoon, but it was Spring Break, so girls in bikinis were sunning themselves, while a few meathead types went shirtless to prove that they did, in fact, spend the winter wailing on their pecs. If this sounds a bit like a page from Maxim magazine, you're not far off. They were actually shooting photos for their "Hometown Hotties" feature. Predictably, this brought out quite a few women who wear bikinis at night (if you know what I mean, and I think you do). There's not much more to say about that.
So let's discuss the poker room, shall we? It's nicely appointed, with a lot of leather and dark wood, sort of like a boy's version of a medieval fortress if the boy had an interior designer for an uncle. It was also largely empty while I was there. A morning tournament was finishing on one table, while one limit and one no-limit game were the only ones available. The action was fairly friendly, though beginners would be advised to try a limit game before playing a no-limit game, even with a small buy-in. If you don't know what those words mean, you shouldn't sit down at a poker table in the first place (unless I'm already sitting at the table. In that case, why not give it a try?) Players are rated by the hour for comps. It's the same card that you can use at the tables or slots.
Speaking of tables, the Hard Rock does have craps and blackjack, plus other crummier table games for those who don't like blackjack and plenty of slots for those who don't know any better. Dealers at the table games were friendlier than the poker dealers. The poker dealers seemed to be focused on (1) speed - which equals profit for the casino, and (2) cold-decking me, with one glorious exception that took me from way down to about even.
The crowd was younger than most Strip casinos, though not as stylish as the crowd at the Palms. It might have been one of the youngest crowds in Vegas though. They also have a music venue that regularly books national touring acts.
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