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| - Do you like going to the circus? Do you like going to the airport? Because you're about to have a 2 in 1 experience similar to those.
Don't get me wrong, it is a nice, large, and decent gym - but my god the people here ruin it. I'm going to give you a play by play on what your experience will probably be if you go here to workout.
1. Getting there
Just getting into the lot during a weeknight is rough if you are coming south on Yonge. People are trying to get out of the lot, so you have idiots who line up and block the other lane, so even if traffic on Yonge stops, and you pull in, you'll have to stop half on the road still.
2. Parking
Remember when I asked if you liked airports? You know that drop off area where nobody understands how to drive or park - yea it's like that. There's a narrow road down the side of the building to the main lot in the back. If you drive a small car, great. If you drive and SUV, van, or truck, have fun. You get other drivers who ignore the fact you are halfway down the narrow passage already and pull into it too. There IS NOT ENOUGH ROOM for two vehicles to pass. Some people also like to stop by the entrance to do god knows what and hold up people coming in. Also if you have a large vehicle/nice vehicle, park FAR AWAY. People do not know how to drive/park and WILL hit you. My truck got backed into.
3. Walking in
To the front desk staff: why you gotta scan my tag for me?... This is the most useless function of front desk. You literally life the scanner from under the ledge up, take my tag, scan it, put the scanner back under the ledge, and hand me my tag. "Maybe some people can't scan it properly and hold up the line" - Listen, if you are unable to scan your own barcode, should you be working with heavy weights and machines? Do you let children operate automobiles?
4. Men's changeroom
Questionable liquids over the floors. It's like playing a game of pretend the ground is lava and you're lunging and stepping around puddles to get to an empty locker. I haven't even changed, why am I sweating? Also to the people changing, please stop screaming to each other in foreign languages. I don't really care it's in a foreign language, I like to talk crap too, but like, indoor voices please. Also people like to take up two whole benches to change, or they don't understand personal space and will forcefully share a bench with you/sit next to your stuff butt naked. Oh, also every time I go to the bathroom I have to hold my breath. The sinks smell worse than the urinals? How is this a thing?!
5. THE GYM
You name it, I've seen it.
You've got your hype crews who take up equipment and work in with each other, so you'll never see that piece of equipment that workout because they will be there for at least an hour, quarter repping and hyping each other up on how well they are doing.
You've got your instagram workout folk, who think doing goofy exercises will give them a butt/slim them down. Oh you're stepping on the assisted chin-up machine to work your legs? Hmm... if only there was a machine.... that would press on your legs.... oh right. The leg press.
You've got your sweaty giant dudes. You know what, you're a beast. Keep it up. But just stop putting your sweaty towels everywhere and learn to share. I get you're big, but don't be rude. That's all.
You've got your creepy old people. I love old people, most of them are adorable. These people are not. They stare at the girls who workout (Like bruh, you are literally staring at her butt), make snyde comments, and god knows what else.I know this because my girlfriend tells me.
There's a bunch more shenanigans, but those are most of them.
6. Leaving
Repeat step 4 and 2. You don't need to do a cool down because you getting to your locker will be enough.
7. Repeat
Thank you for joining me on this journey.
You might be asking, why don't I go during off hours? Well, you'll still have to deal with some messed up things. Like the cleaner using the floor cleaning machine at 3PM on a Sunday afternoon when it's moderately busy. The dude literally drives the machine between people/crowds. He will run you and your stuff on the floor over. Then the floor is super slippery and wet. Do you see people operating zambonis during public skate with people on the ice? No. Learn by example.
Overall, you'll have similar experiences at any large gym in a convenient location. My suggestion, find a nice small gym nobody goes to. Those hidden goodlifes. Or come here at REALLY off times, like 2AM-6AM.
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