| rev:text
| - "On the day of execution, on the day of execution
"Only women kneel and smile, ah-ah, ah-ah"
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In A Sentence
All shiny and slick with a badass parking garage; however, it's a slimy shitshow .
Quick Review
+ Artwork all around. Relatively vertical parking garage with sensor lights to notify of empty carports. Centrally located and accessible from the west via a bridge to avoid the boulevard.
+/- Venues: Book/Stage (defunct), Bond, Boulevard Pool, Chandelier, Chelsea, Rose.Rabbit.Lie.
- Where to start? It's a fucking shitshow: bunch of nickel and diming amateurs.
Employee of Excellence
Unknown names: they used to work at Book/Stage and probably all got fired.
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I have some personal experiences here. I have enough personal experiences here to self-publish a goddamn, shitty book.
Cosmopolitan is nice and shiny and at first look: a cool, slick resort casino. I was a big fan when Book/Stage was hosting mini-residencies of eight shows. I practically lived here.
Yet, my troubles started once Deutsche Bank took over.
Boulevard Pool
As chronicled in my Blvd Pool review (linked below), they kept me from entering shows that I had tickets for because I was arriving too late (according to them). To contextualise: they basically did everything that they could to keep me from an Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros (when it was the full group with Jade still) and I had to sneak into it. Never mind that there thirty minutes of live concert still fucking remaining for me to enjoy after I wasted ten minutes sneaking in.
Casino Floor/Identity® (Player's Club)
In terms of the gaming: I played and played in two promotional offers from Identity®. One of these promotions I recall vividly because it still pisses me off thinking of it today: Adele. Two tickets to Adele at Chelsea (the old Chelsea). One had to be present when they were awarded, so a gift homer if one accrued the points and showed up at the time of the stupid giveaway. Except for one little detail that was so hidden in the fine print one had to be a corporate attorney to catch wind: it was only on specific machines that no employee that I came across could tell me with certainty. Fucking scam artists.
Concierge
In terms of the concierge: this is where they earn their rating. I purchased floor tickets to Kevin Hart, early show. Something came up and I couldn't go. I called the concierge and asked if I could switch them to the late show. Paraphrasing: well, those seats are sold out for the late show.
Okay, I understand. How about you give me the shittiest tickets you have for that late show and you can give away or sell once more or so whatever the fuck you want with my much more expensive early tickets? I'll paraphrase their response once more: well, tickets are nonrefundable and no exchanges.
Alright. I understand the standard, corporate language on the back of ducats. This is not my first rodeo, asshole. I am calling you because you are supposed to be a concierge, asshole. Moreover, why didn't you say this to begin with instead of sharing with me the pointless information that all tickets on the floor were sold out for the late show (if you weren't capable of exchanging)? Fucking assholes.
The tickets went to waste; and you get a fucking one-star for it, you useless scumbags. Enjoy!
Book & Stage - Four-stars
http://www.yelp.com/biz/book-and-stage-las-vegas?hrid=4QDzlC3HGQr_vMk865bYZA&utm_campaign=www_review_share_popup&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=(direct)
Bond - TBD
http://www.yelp.com/biz/bond-las-vegas
Boulevard Pool - Two-stars
http://www.yelp.com/biz/boulevard-pool-las-vegas?hrid=S2BuqhJipNCkfSClnD20yg&utm_campaign=www_review_share_popup&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=(direct)
The Chandelier - TBD
http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-chandelier-las-vegas
The Chelsea - TBD
http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-chelsea-las-vegas
Chino Poblano - TBD
http://www.yelp.com/biz/china-poblano-las-vegas
The Henry - TBD
http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-henry-las-vegas
Holstein's Shakes & Buns - TBD
http://www.yelp.com/biz/holsteins-shakes-and-buns-las-vegas
Jaleo - TBD
http://www.yelp.com/biz/jaleo-las-vegas
P3 Studio - TBD
http://www.yelp.com/biz/p3-studio-las-vegas
Rose.Rabbit.Lie - TBD
http://www.yelp.com/biz/rose-rabbit-lie-las-vegas
Secret Pizza - Three-stars
http://www.yelp.com/biz/secret-pizza-las-vegas?hrid=KZSAZI08xYZ4fUIELN3EaQ&utm_campaign=www_review_share_popup&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=(direct)
Wicked Spoon - TBD
http://www.yelp.com/biz/wicked-spoon-las-vegas
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Tourists?
Lots of them: 98/2 tourists-to-locals ratio here. Why would locals gamble here?
Good for Kids?
No!
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Rating: One-star, "Eek! Methinks not." (5000 characters.)
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