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| - Geez, I haven't written a review in almost a year. How bad do I suck?
I had pretty high hopes for this place. Someone whose judgement I (used to) trust recommended it very highly. I figured it would be at least OK, and in that I was not disappointed.
5Church would like so badly to be so very hip. The ambiance from the moment you hit the door is a combination of black, mismatched wall decorations, and flop-sweat. You can feel the vibe shouting at you, "YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO DINE HERE! YOU ARE SO VERY COOL!!!!!!". Alas, I am not. I'm old, cranky, and get pretty annoyed when the food doesn't live up to the hype, so in retrospect the interior didn't work for me.
I will say I received exemplary service. We ate pretty early (old, remember?), so she wasn't busy, but I really did appreciate her skill at being ingratiating, warm, and efficient.
We started with a shrimp and cheese flatbread. I guess maybe my sights were set a bit too high, but it was......fine. Nothing special, or that I can't get elsewhere.
I had the 60 second strip for entree. The steak itself was acceptable, but again nothing that would make this a destination restaurant. However, the roasted potatoes it came with wrecked this dish. Roasted potatoes should be golden, crisp on the outside, fluffy and redolent of time in the oven inside. I'm reasonably sure the ones I got saw a caramelizing torch for a minute or so. Bonus points would have been awarded had anyone noticed I ate 1.5 of them and pushed the rest to the side. Alas, none were given.
The cordial mixed drink I had for afters was a pretty generous pour, and the bartender made sure to come check that he had made it right since it was not a common drink.
Overall I left somewhat disappointed in the food. The vibe is trying hard, the staff certainly seems invested in creating a good experience, but the food just isn't there for this to be a destination restaurant.
Additionally, I left a comment for the owners through Open Table, and their response seems to have been to add me to their mailing list. Um, guys? I don't need more spam.
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