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| - My roommates and I used to go to Chompie's in Tempe every Saturday morning when we were in college and everything was always great and we had a blast. That was a LONG time ago.
Not anymore. I have been to this Paradise Valley Chompies many times in the past five years, but only to pick up a dozen bagels at the pastry counter. I agree with other reviews here -- sometimes you get a friendly person and sometimes you get a surly asshat.
Yesterday was the first time I ever came in and sat down for lunch. I was by myself.. Here's how it went:
1. The hostess approached me immediately and walked to me what I will call a "half booth". She said (AND I AM NOT KIDDING), "Do you like to get romantic with yourself?" and gestured toward the booth. I looked down and the seating area was literally one side of a booth bench, the tabletop coming out of the wall opposite to where I would be sitting. There was no other "side" of the booth (meaning another bench seat where people could sit across from each other).
Mounted to the wall that the tabletop was anchored into was a sign that read "Romance Booth". I guess it must be some weird attempt at humor, as I suppose the insinuation was that you could only sit adjacent to your fellow diner instead of across from him. Ha-fucking-ha. Not amused. I told her no, and that I don't want to spend my lunchtime staring at a wall. She showed me to another booth that seemed normal.
Well, I think I got the tall, semi-bald guy, awful server to which other reviewers on this page have referred. He took my drink order, and when he returned with it, sat it way across from me on the other side of the booth. The glass must have been fresh from a dishwasher that did not have a drying cycle, because a GIANT pool of water immediately began to form around the glass. So when I lifted the glass to bring it closer than two feet away from me, the pool of water that had settled at the base of the glass was about the side of a salad plate.
I flagged down a busser and told her about the mini swimming pool on my table and she whipped out this already-saturated rag that looked like it had been pulled out of a filthy mop bucket and proceeded to spread the above-ground pool evenly all over my table, instead of going to get a DRY towel and mopping up the wetness. It was absolutely disgusting.
Then the server brought my lunch. I told him about the thin layer of germy swimming pool that had just been my table. He made no acknowledgment or apology.I had ordered 1/2 a sandwich and a cup of split pea soup, which came with a thimble-full of coleslaw.
The entire cup of the soup had split pea STREAMING down all sides of it. It looked as if someone had completely submerged the cup into the vat of soup, pulled it out and put it on my plate. The outside of the cup looked like it was wallpapered in split pea soup. Super-disgusting incident #2. It took me about four napkins to mop it all up. And did the server return to take away the soaked napkins? No. It looked like a scene from The Exorcist.
I expressed my extreme displeasure to the oblivious server and he did absolutely nothing about it. Didn't comp my drink or offer a dessert or tell the manager to come over to address a pissed-off customer. Nothing. It was if none of this had ever happened. It was only a bad dream. God, I wish that was true.
As other reviewers have stated, the sandwiched was overstuffed to the point that I had to eat it with a fork. I guess Chompies doesn't realize that giant amounts of food pouring over the plates can be terribly off-putting to a non-hog's appetite.
Oh, well, lesson learned. I'll never go back.
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