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| - Rex Marvin has a weakness. Okay, don't look at me that way. I will start again. Rex Marvin has many weaknesses. One that might shock you...okay...they would all shock you. This one would surprise you...okay...most of them would surprise you. Fine, I will just say it. I have a thing for ski lodges. Before you snicker. Before you judge. Before you call me horrible names and question my street cred and make me cut you...let Rex explain.
Imagine a young Rex. Imagine a young taut schoolboy with golden locks. Imagine a fat kid next to that good looking kid. Guess which one was Rex. They are standing on a hill. The hill is covered with snow. The snow is white. Show White is white. Sorry, I got carried away...I digress. A girl walked by. She was a vision. It wasn't a great vision but a vision nonetheless. She smiled. I smiled. She smiled again. I smiled again. She smiled a third time. I thought she was retarded. She might have been. We skied. We talked. She talked more. Then...it happened. I disrobed. She disrobed. She saw the knife scar. I saw the stretch marks. We consummated our disgust. It was sweet. It was sad. It was short. It was physically painless. It was emotionally numb. It was psychologically scarring. Still, I look back on those innocent times with longing and fondness.
Lodge at Hualapai looks like that ski lodge. It looks like the place where that morbid little troll stole my innocence. It is where after she left I huffed my first can of paint. The first time I cried the tears of shame...and liked it.
Lodge is great...if you like wood. Nay, if you LOVE wood. It is a little intense for those people who don't see wood as the greatest substance in the world. It is a good place. There are plenty of tv's to watch games, a great separate pool table area away from the customers and plenty of seating. It also has a great fireplace in the winter.
The food and drinks are above the average bar food. Their wings are meaty and the sauce is great. Their sandwiches are very good and their dinners are solid but not spectacular. Where the Lodge really excels is breakfast. When you are on your third straight night with no sleep, sitting on the same bar stool, and fading in and out of consciousness while screaming about tiny fat chicks some food is a necessity. It is cheaper than bail. The food is great, the prices are good. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day...especially when your face is covered with paint and your eyes can't focus.
The bartenders make a good drink, not great, but good. The locals aren't exactly treated like they are needed...and they are, and there is very rarely a decent special...but it is a good place to go when there is nowhere else...or somewhere else very close throws you out for threatening to punch Betty White...and Betty White isn't even there. The concept of no harm no foul means nothing to those bastards.
Rex drinks here. Rex dulls the memories here. Rex eats here. Rex isn't really proud of it.
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