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| - When I was 28 years old, I started drinking alcohol. I'm now 30. Before I started drinking, I had a certain amount of knowledge about the world. Let's say, for example, I had accumulated 28 knowledge points. A mere two years later, I would say I'm at 56 knowledge points. I have learned much more about life than I would have ever predicted. I've gained 700 Facebook friends. I've garnered stories that would make a porn star, new to the industry, of course, blush. It's difficult to shock the DV/DA-hardened veterans (physically impossible btw - if you have video to prove otherwise, I'll pay to see it). I've punished my body with 10 day benders. I've had the shakes from withdrawal. I've known two consecutive sun rises and sun sets with no sleep. A navy seal, I am not. A grizzled drinking veteran, yeah, a little bit. Abu J, I know you're gonna call me a light-weight. I grant you, there is always more to learn. My parents generously endowed me with a hardy appetite for rock superstardom, but selfishly withheld the genes for a functioning musical ear and a giant member. Thanks for nothin, mama.
(Interesting side note - one of my ex gf's thinks my mom and I are in love. This comes from a woman who communicates with her mom once a fiscal quarter.)
But then Andrew K was in my car one day and he INSISTED we listen to the country station. And a song came on by Phil McGraw... Yup, Dr. Phil.
I think Ill take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now its time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years
Hey my next thirty years Im gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things Ive done
Maybe now Ive conquered all my adolescent fears
And Ill do it better in my next thirty years
My next thirty years Im gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what Im doing here
In my next thirty years
Oh my next thirty years, Im gonna watch my weight
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late
Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers
Maybe Ill remember my next thirty years
My next thirty years will be the best years of my life
Raise a little family and hang out with my wife
Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear
Make up for lost time here, in my next thirty years
In my next thirty years
This song struck me. Right in the baby maker. What a fucking loser I have become...
I have in many ways downgraded the parts of my humanity that society values. I was productive in my past life. Had a solid career path. A brilliant, ridiculously talented woman loved me. With visceral fortitude, I have displaced entirely the concept of self-discipline. Of a work ethic. The desire to work just a little harder than the schmuck next to me... No, not you Z. But in other ways I love who I've become. I'm charming. I'm easy, whatever you want to take that to mean. I don't judge anyone for anything, except my exes, who I seem incapable of forgiving (just kidding Amber). I find it incomprehensibly energizing to meet new people. On many levels, if I weren't me, I would at least want to be my friend. That's how much I like who I've become.
So the point of all this... You had to know I would get there eventually, is that I need to find a balance. A balance between where I've been, where I am and where I see myself going.
Whole Foods is that answer. It is THE answer. They have the right products for me to learn to be a better human. A balanced carbon-based humanoid. They have shampoo that makes my scalp tingle. Soap that makes my privates tingle (BUY IT). They have food that makes my tongue tingle.
One area that I'm really focusing on right now is my diet. According to the enneagram, I'm an average 7, which is an excessive hedonist. And I've totally been a pig of the epicurean sty... I was an unrepentant glutton. The only thing that kept me under 220 lbs was vanity. Even as a vegetarian. But I've always known, in my little ticker, that I should live as cruelty-free as possible. So, one area I'm implementing discipline is in the diet sector by becoming a vegan. Unfortunately, the selection at WF is so good, I don't even have to employ any discipline. I can eat the same shit I've always eaten and it's delicious and no poor creature had to suffer for it. Life is almost too good. How did this happen?
I could go on. This place rules. I love it so much. Like the love affair I'm having with my mom.
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