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| - WHEW ! What was THAT all about? Scary.
Let me begin by saying that 1.) I don't have an attitude, 2.) I'm not angry with the world, and 3.) I've never felt I was better than anyone else---except for those who are cruel, bully or intimidate others, murder, torture, molest, or spread hate and discord. Other than those few dark spots on our planet---but even one is too many---the rest of us are pretty much in the same boat together, making the best of life and each other.
With that said, I'll continue.
These ULTA employees are great---always willing to help, they're friendly, likeable, courteous, professional, and knowledgeable. My brain would have to be missing and the void filled with mousse---to think the staff should have answers to every question they're posed, and that this store---selling FUN stuff---not medical supplies or funeral needs---would take itself so seriously. Maybe they should wear lab coats? Carry clipboards? (For all those who feel there SHOULD be an answer for every question, I've got a little secret I can't wait to share. Read ***** at the end.)
If you haven't yet visited---and you're not one of those "dark spots"---I'm sure you're not expecting to be greeted by scientists and technicians poised to answer all of your questions. That's for places like NASA and the Kennedy Space Center when you're on one of their tours. ULTA is a more laid-back, relaxed destination---one where you can buy hair & body products, and try & buy makeup. They also have a hair salon, and waxxing.
And, if you're not ready to make any purchases just stop in for the fun of it. Sightsee. Get to know the place. Spray yourself with the newest scent or two or three---they probably have every one you've ever heard of or read about. Check out the latest mascaras, shampoo's, sunglasses---nearly anything you can think of is here. Just come in and have a good time. Be an ULTA tourista the first time around, at this informal "Girlie Shrine".
I'm a nail polish hoarder. I have so many I could use them to paint my entire bedroom ceiling, and still have enough left over to paint cute little fish all over my bathroom walls. Okay---I lied. I have a lot, but not THAT much. That was a segue into my ULTA sales pitch:
Check out ULTA's own brand of polish. It's THE BEST. I've tried most mid to high-end, and theirs is the smoothest to apply, longest-wearing, and doesn't get thick after just a few uses. Colors? You'll find all the latest, trendiest right here. In fact, ULTA has had shades way before you'd see them featured in print ads from copy-cats showing similar ones. I've had 2 fabulous gray-greens forever. Watch for Buy2 Get2 and other great deals. You can end up paying as little as $3 each.
* Sign up for their Club Card and you'll get credit for your purchases towards FREE products, plus receive sale fliers with coupons. Stop in. You'll be greeted, be smiled at, and you'll feel welcome.
***** SECRET REVEALED *****
** GET ALL YOUR ANSWERS **
FOR THOSE WHO EXPECT THEM: Ulta probably has 3000-4000 different products. Even at just 2 facts per product, that's 6000-8000 bits of information. Vast, yet possible to learn, but a complete waste of valuable time and resources, since only a fraction will ever be asked about. Should they learn about every product, or 500 or 200 or even 50? What then? Memorize 1 bit or 4 bits per product? Would knowing 10 or 15 bits be better? If yes, known product count must drop. Which questions are likely to be asked? Which products chosen? How is that determined? By whom? See where I'm going? I doubt it. It would be senseless for this type of business with this amount of inventory to ever consider complying to meet such unrealistic expectations. It defies logic. They'd go bust.
What all of you expect is frightening---right out of a Kafka novel. And to mock or denigrate someone for not knowing something, is reprehensible. Expecting answers to YOUR SPECIFIC QUESTIONS only confirms your illogical---and scary
---thought process.
* NOW . . Secret Revealed ! . Answers to ALL Your Questions Step by Step !
1. Before passing through the doors into this pleasant destination please leave
your cynicism in the dumpster behind the building.
2. While there, toss in your glaring stupidity, too.
3. Locate a product that you have a question about.
4. While holding that box, bottle, jar, tube, card, or label, READ IT. That's what
smart adults do.
5. And if THAT won't answer your question, the magical object you used to proffer your searing comments here, can also be used to obtain information on that product. Your local library (it's a building where they keep lots of books and other stuff ?) can show you how. Just tell the nice person behind the desk that you DESPERATELY NEED HELP !
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