| rev:text
| - I've been holding on to my Joe Beef experience because humans, especially those with OCD, place an unreasonable amount of significance on round numbers. When I realized I was coming up on my 250th review, I figured I would save the honor for what I consider to be one of the top five dining experiences in my lifetime. Yeah, it was that good.
First, special thanks to my friend Mike H. for pointing us in the direction of Joe Beef. I was laser focused on eating at Au pied de cochon during our time in Montreal and prior to him enlightening me, had never heard of ole Joe. We ended up eating at both restaurants and in my (not so) humble opinion, Mr. Beef blows the other place out of the water.
I have to admit that when we walked in to JB, everything about it was uncomfortable. The lights were dim, the music was loud and the small space was so chocked full of tables that you couldn't help but feel everyone was staring at you. This feeling was amplified by the fact that our waitress asked us to study the blackboard menu on the wall while they pulled our table out for us. The two things of note here are that there are no paper menus, so the person with their back to the board needed to decide before they sat, and the tables were so close the staff have to let you in and lock you down... like some sort of culinary roller coaster.
Our food came from nearly every part of the animal kingdom. We had oysters. Great. We had foie gras. Fantastic. The wife had schnitzel. Good. I had a horse steak (yeah, horse... or is it naaay, horse?). Very Good. Everything was expertly prepared and presented in a "Hey, we like food but we aren't all prissy about it" sorta way. I don't like prissy. I liked this. The drinks were just as expertly prepared and equally as delicious. Putting a raw oyster on top of my Bloody Caesar? Uhhh, brilliant. (see pic)
Truth be told, the food was not the highlight of the meal. Our waitress, Vanya, may very well be the best server we've ever had. Not only was she knowledgeable, efficient, witty, professional and everything else you look for in wait staff, she was quite simply... lovely. There was something about her warm and friendly way of interacting with you that made you feel like you were the Greatest Person to Have Ever Walked the Planet. I know what you're thinking, Chris is just a sucker for blondes and his enthrallment with Vanya was probably because he'd love any blonde that feeds him. That's not an entirely invalid perception, however my wife had pretty much the same opinion of Vanya... and she's not in to chicks... or so she says. Hmm, give me a minute. Where was I? Oh yes, Vanya. We loved her.
Perhaps the most surprising thing about the restaurant, besides the buffalo in the bathroom, was just how homey it became by the end of the night. I can see how people wouldn't like the close quarters, but have a few cocktails and suddenly the tables around you are welcomed dinner companions. For what it's worth, I went from telling my wife "I don't want to eat dinner with them" to high-fiving one of the two guys eating next to us by the time we left. We didn't have to pop our collars. We already knew we were cool.
I firmly believe Joe Beef is going places. They don't have a ton of reviews, but with some of the press they've been getting lately, I expect that number to explode. If others' experiences are anything like ours, they will be firmly rooted at 4.5 stars well into the triple digits. They deserve it.
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