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| - In a world where Rex Marvin was one run over by two guys dressed as Martha Steward driving a dump truck at a high rate of speed...very little surprises Rex. Rex has endured "surprises" that would kill a man. Rex was surprised when Kathy Bates jumped out his birthday cake wearing nothing but frosting and nipple clamps. Rex was surprised when he was sold into slavery and forced to pick coffee beans in Ethiopia...not because of the slavery, but because the food was much better than he had anticipated. Rex was surprised when he was covered in blood holding a human head high on gas fumes and giddiness from a Paula Poundstone concert...and the police want to lock HIM up. (Misunderstanding of course, anyone in a Paula Poundstone show is there to kill themselves quickly or slowly...the gentleman next Rex picked quickly. Rex still considers a wise and wonderful man. Why was Rex there...to develop mental toughness. Sit through 20 minutes without killing yourself, and torture you will surely endure at the hands of 13 year olds with machete's forcing you to pick coffee beans faster will seem like a joke.
Rex has handled these surprises and many others with dignity and class. The one surprise that Rex cannot abide...cannot fathom...cannot think of any other adjectives... is how Lucio Ristorante isn't held up to the world as the shining beacon of Italian food in Las Vegas. Las Vegas is filled with more bad Italian food than a Danish Italian Food Expo Rex once attended in Peoria, Illinois. Those damn Danes will get theirs! Friggin' fish salters! They stole my beloved Italian food and then they stole my less than beloved companion, Cyclops Cindy. Old one eye...sweet girl...giving girl...the things she would let you do to that eye should be illegal...Rex thinks they might be...but nothing is too savage and vulgar for a Dane who cooks Italian food in Peoria...trust Rex on that!
Rex has spent many years in institutions on the East Coast...and Rex KNOWS great Italian food. Rex know the wonderful experience those beautiful swarthy bastards can create. Rex also knows the pain of a Dane in a fake mustache...and all things in between. Here in Las Vegas there is as many good Italian places to eat as there hookers without kids...NOT MANY! Lucio's is a find. A city treasure.
First...the appetizers. The finest fried Calamari this side of the Atlantic ocean. Brilliantly prepared, perfectly battered and served with a tasty marinara sauce. The Antipasto is also wonderful and the spicy shrimp (Gamberi Fra Diavlo) is simply wonderful. Perfectly seasoned, not too hot and excellent shrimp. The César salad is a triumph of fine ingredients and the way not to over dress greens. The signature salart is good, but Rex can't stand Gorgonzola, so he isn't a fair judge.
Second, the main course...so much to say. So little time. The Risotto, their pride and joy, is TRULY the best in the city. It is impeccably done...slight bite, soft but not too soft...velvety and creamy...it is just wonderful. Treat yourself...Rex does...to the Truffle or the Scampi. The Truffle is Rex's favorite. The pasta dishes are all well executed, well seasoned and very generous portions...much like Rex. The Spicy Shrimp (Penne Scampi Fra Diavlo) and the Spaghetti with meatballs (spaghetti con polpettine) are real standouts. The eggplant parmesan (Melanzane Alla Parmigiana). The Pollo Sorrentina is a great dish, chicken with prociutto and mushrooms...delicious.
One problem happens at desert. The Tiramisu is severly lacking that great espresso bite...almost none to be found anywhere. The Pastiera Napolentana is so well done Rex barely minded the problem with the Tiramisu. The Cannoli's are also wonderful and very authentic.
Special mention to the wait staff. Great servers. Very knowledgeable about the food. They want to make your experience a good one. I couldn't be more thrilled with the staff.
Rex has never had a bad plate, let alone a bad meal and he has eaten there 20 times. They often have specially on Groupon or other sites, and the 20 bucks for 40 bucks of food might be one of the best deals Rex has ever had. Get on their email list too! Great deals. In this town of miscreants, low life's, and scumbags...you know...my people...all promising great Italian food...most of the liars or fools...Lucios stands head and shoulders above the rest. Extremely reasonably priced, well cared for dishes by attentive cooks and extremely friendly wait staff...you can't do better in any food genre.
Much like an elderly Katherine Hepburn said to a young Rex Marvin "you almost broke my hip." Not sure how that fits, Rex just likes to brag.
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