| rev:text
| - Oh hip trendy it clubs- where new money and no money collide in an explosion of confetti and champagne. Where the fat guy in the over-priced half-canvassed designer suit and questionable footwear spends thousands on bottle service to entertain women impressed by flash. Where you can't have enough Moet (not because it's good, mind you, but because it's moet and there's no accounting for taste).
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't write bad reviews because I don't like the product being offered. I mean, I think vegan food is disgusting but I won't begrudge a vegan place for being vegan or a skydiving place for taking me up in the air (I'm scared to death of heights). I will, however, call out a vegan place for serving the hot food cold and the cold food warm, or a skydiving place for not packing my parachute properly (it's a joke, don't think too hard about it)
So here's what happened: I went on Friday with a bachelor party and got one of the aforementioned VIP tables with bottle service (not my scene but not my party). Pretty standard mixers, decent service, attractive attentive smiling staff that professionally stood waiting behind us.
That part is fine.
So why the two stars? After that it just sucked.
The DJ was atrocious. People were on the dance floor but very few people were dancing. I mean, not everyone can or wants to pay over 1k for a table so they need to be herded somewhere right? So there they were swaying back and forth at times, screaming at each other over the music, occasionally singing along when 90 seconds of something recognizable was played.
Now if they're getting down that hard CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW IT WAS GOING OFF AT OUR TABLE THAT ELEVATED US LIKE GODS ABOVE THE PLEBES?
ZOMG
IT WAS EPIC... and by epic I mean we all screamed amongst each other to have a conversation because no one wanted to shake it.
Speaking of shaking it the dancers tried their best (I think). Well, one did. So they've got these fans under them to blow their hair around as they twirl around poles with uplighting. They're all dressed in the standard revealing or provocative attire replete with lace half-masks, which could ...COULD be really alluring.
It wasn't.
One dance knew how to work it. The smile, the eyes through the mask... the other two just danced like they were punching a clock. I wanted to ask one of them if she actually enjoyed this but I decided it wasn't worth going hoarse to ask a question over the loud terrible music that probably wouldn't get a response anyway.
After that there wasn't much else to look at. No lights to speak of, no effects, nothing.. just bad music and paid dancers waiting to get off and put some damn clothes on.
Look, maybe if I was the type of guy who thought he had a chance with the waitress who rubbed my arms and batted her eyelashes at me I'd have enjoyed it more ... and hey, maybe I did but again ... bad music, loud, screaming, no vibe, etc killed any desire to even consider it.
So why even two stars? It's an it spot and people are trying to get in so they're doing something right even if it's just marketing. Good news for everyone else is that they can have my spot.
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)
![[cxml]](/fct/images/cxml_doc.png)
![[csv]](/fct/images/csv_doc.png)
![[text]](/fct/images/ntriples_doc.png)
![[turtle]](/fct/images/n3turtle_doc.png)
![[ld+json]](/fct/images/jsonld_doc.png)
![[rdf+json]](/fct/images/json_doc.png)
![[rdf+xml]](/fct/images/xml_doc.png)
![[atom+xml]](/fct/images/atom_doc.png)
![[html]](/fct/images/html_doc.png)