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  • It was on a Thursday or something. I was just past stinking drunk when I decided to steal an ashtray from this casino. I don't really have a lot of experience in ashtray thievery, and I couldn't figure out exactly how I was going to accomplish my objective. And I felt like I was losing my buzz. I took a seat at the bar and ordered a beer. There's a commercial for Keeping Up with The Kardashians on the TV over the bar. As the bartender sits my beer in front of me, she says "I've had about god damn enough of the Kardashians!." I laughed out loud. I'm drinking and thinking but I'm not really getting anywhere. And now I'm getting hungry. I order up a couple shrimp cocktails. The shrimp cocktails here are 100% old school. Served in a tulip glass and doused with the traditional slightly horseradishy cocktail sauce, they're a briny blast from the past. And, at a $1.49 each, a stone cold bargain. By the time I finished my beer and shimp cocktails I was feeling pretty good. I decided to play some penny slots because penny slots are fun as hell when you have a really good buzz. When I play slots I like to play a lot of different machines. I mean, a lot. I'm always on the move. I'll play a machine for a minute, maybe two, and then cash out. If I don't hit something right away, I'm gone. If a machine pays, as soon as I'm up $5, I'm gone. I love playing this way because I never lose much dough. But it makes it hard as hell to get a drink. Can't order from a cocktail waitress because by the time she comes back, I'm gone. After an hour of some serious slot play I was damn near exhausted. I was pretty sure I had played all my favorites and I wasn't even high anymore. I decided to head over to the Sunset Station. I completely forgot to steal the ashtray. Mikey C says: don't steal, don't 'lift, twenty years of schooling and they put you on the day shift
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