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| - The entire time I was staying at Terrible's, I was thinking up this review. I was thinking, you know, where to put the "This place actually is terrible" pun line. Whether to use my frequent model of "The good! The bad!" without a real good column. How to point you quickly and effectively to the most glaring flaws. Really, spending a lot of time on metrics to figure out which flaws are the most glaring. So, here is how I'll begin:
1. The best thing about Terrible's was how nice the head of security and manager were the next morning after we came back to find that all of our valuables had been stolen because our ground-floor room didn't have locked windows or a screen.
2. The worst thing was the service in the cafe.
3. The second worst thing were the pillows in the un-upgraded rooms.
4. The third worst thing was that all of our valuables got stolen and we had to spend three hours (midnight-3 AM) dealing with that after an hour of trying to get into our room (which had been locked from the inside, presumably by the burglar), and the person manning the front desk implied to the security officer (who was great) that we had staged the whole thing to defraud the casino.
Our stay at Terrible's (which we chose because of its proximity to UNLV, where we were attending a conference) was so bad it was almost comedic. Upon arrival, we tried to book a second room (splitting a foursome into two twosomes), and were just flatly lied to about availability and pricing (in fairness, I think out of ignorance or incompetence rather than malice). Once we did end up splitting into our new room, the beds were plasticy, the pillows almost unusably uncomfortable, the towels small and unabsorbent. We tried the buffet the first night, and did not return. The cafe, where we ate the other times we stayed in the hotel, was wildly understaffed, making service ridiculously slow, and riddled with errors (it once took my companion 3 tries to get toast without butter). The food, once it came, was always edible and the quantities were large, but certainly not particularly good (the one real value is the late-night menu, which is significantly discounted).
This isn't to say that everything was bad. We had a good time playing penny slots, and our waitress--who was very charming and quickly recognized us and made an effort to wave across the casino floor the next day--made sure we were never without a drink in our hands. The manager our last morning let us use his iPhone charger since ours had been stolen. The upgraded rooms are significantly nicer (in a way that actually makes you wonder why the un-upgraded ones are so bad; the only significant difference seems to be linens and pillows). And, importantly, Terrible's seems to have a fine insurance company, so I was eventually reimbursed for all of my stolen items (in a way that was actually maybe disturbingly routine).
So, while I can't in good conscience recommend this place, its location next to UNLV meant that given one or two things going more right, I'd probably go there again if I were in town for a conference. That having been said, this was without question by far the worst hotel experience I've ever had in my life even before my room was broken into, so maybe that just means my standards should be higher.
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