| rev:text
| - Oh Jaleo, you bring out the worst in me.
I'm one of those eaters that: (1) has zero patience to read a menu, especially when most of it is in a foreign language; (2) if I can't decide what I want, I pester the server and neighboring diners for recommendations; and (3) knows exactly what I want and how I want it. Jaleo, for better or worse, hits all four proverbial nails.
Jaleo's menu isn't the biggest, but there are a large number of dishes offered. And most of it is in Spanish. Unless you read the English description. Well, as I said before, I have no patience to read every description to settle on a handful of openers. Which sucks because we ended up with the cod empanadas, which, oh, btw, doesn't really have any cod in it. It's basically a fish cream that's been deep fried in thin and crisp empanada shell with some honey drizzled on it. You might like it and love it, but my friends and I could not stomach this to save our lives. We Fear Factored the shmuck who ordered it as punishment. Yes, he smelled like fish after that. The menu doesn't suck if you read Spanish. Or you have the patience to actually read everything. Deal killer? Nope, because...
...I pester people to give strong recommendations. Sucks for everyone else except me! Using this method, we stumbled across a ginfully good Gin & Tonic. They ship their ice sphere (don't call it a ball) from their sister ship in LA. Seriously. The care and attention that goes into this one drink suggests that they care about all of their products (apparently even that cod cream). Speaking of attention, the food in the shoe definitely grabbed ours, as we promptly ordered the delectable pollo croquetas (sp?) that occupy the footwear. Those little morsels of what tasted like really good creamed chicken in a crunchy fried shell are really yum. Another great recommendation was that we try their off-menu paella (I don't know what it's called because we said we'd take it before the server even described it). To our surprise it was loaded with a whole lobster tail, a giant lobster claw (a bitch to break open), a few prawns and a few muscles. Killer good that dish, but...
...not as good as the Iberico Short Rib Paella recommended on my first visit. It was so rich and tasty that we wanted another plate. I daydream about it. I drool uncontrollably. My second visit to Jaleo was specifically to have this dish again. Upon sitting, before ordering drinks or even water, we asked for, nay DEMANDED this paella. To which our humble server replied they were not going to be making it. At all. For the rest of the night. Once the tears stopped, I pulled myself together with a wonderful Gin & Tonic, had some pretty good dishes (like the potato wrapped chorizo and roast quail) then went over to Blue Ribbon for oxtail fried rice to dull the pain...but that's for another review.
Yeah, Jaleo, you've got a lot going for you. Your food's mostly good. But I think I need Rosetta Stone and some valium to get through the menu. And you need to get some more damn Iberico short ribs for the best paella in the world!
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