The hipster hype was too much to pass up on, so we set sail out to The Atlantic on Dundas.
A complete and utter disappointment.
They pride themselves on "local cuisine". They make a massive point to sell you on the idea that all of the things you are eating come from within a set radius of the restaurant. They're right. Every dish was essentially some variant of St. Lawrence River Beluga Whale hearts served in a pool of Ontario's finest salt.
I've never had saltier food. The Norwegians would be proud. Sure, the Atlantic Ocean is full of salt water, but is that really the rationale for dunking all of the dishes in this thick salty goop? Even the "hazelnut greens" should have been subtitled "We're sorry, but tonight the role of hazelnuts is being played by Sodium Chloride." We wanted to take our resting blood pressure before and after dinner to see how it was affected.
The service was spectacular. Our wonderful waitress kept our water glasses full throughout the voyage to the saltiest part of the sea. This counteracted the food quite nicely and felt very heartfelt. If only pirates would swoop her off the deck and plunk her down on a more seafaring vessel.
Portions were extremely small, which unfortunately in this case was actually a good thing. That being said, they were fantastically overpriced. Our simple dinner ended up costing about the same as 100 cans of tuna.
We gazed off into the oversized photos of beached whales and dreamt of finer harbours.
Swerve portside to avoid this nautical disaster.