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| - If my review gradually trails off into a long string of nonsensical letters, pardon me - I just rode the Leviathan and Behemoth about 10 times apiece, so I'm barely confident that my frontal lobe is still at the front.
After much careful planning, I went to Wonderland on what I calculated to be the ultimate visiting day. We enjoyed sunshine without sweating or sunburns, rode every ride to our heart's content (i.e. a lot) and, out of 9 hours, probably spent less than 45 minutes TOTAL queueing all day without even buying the stupid $65 Fast Pass. It was glorious!!!
You, however, are probably going in the dead of summer, so I'll help you make the best of it:
+ If you have the money to blow, get the stupid Fast Pass ($65). Otherwise you'll only get on maybe 7-10 major rides, so plan well.
+ The new $10M attraction for 2014, Wonder Mountain's Guardian, is atrocious. I can't believe they get away with calling it "4D" considering a game of jacks is more interactive. You get on, shoot at some poorly animated creatures (the screen on which they're dimly displayed totally visible) and then it's over in a flash. If you've ever gone on Toy Story Midway Mania at Disneyland, which is fantastic, this is nothing like that. Guardian was pretty much the only ride I had to line up for, because everyone wanted to see what it was, so I bet there will be long lines this summer. Skip it - you're not missing anything.
+ Also skip Wild Beast. It is abusive; no exaggeration. I always said I liked old wooden coasters but they've either deteriorated in the time since I've been on one, or my body has matured to have bones and other things that I'd prefer not to be smashed apart. You will literally be punched in the ears and head repeatedly. It hurts. It was the only ride I wanted to get off of as soon as it started. Don't say I didn't warn you.
+ Time Warp (formerly Tomb Raider) and Flight Deck (formerly Top Gun) are also not great.
+ Backlot Stunt Coaster (formerly The Italian Job) is quite enjoyable. You go from 0 to 40mph in the first 3 seconds, which is most pleasant. As a part-time Angeleno I particularly enjoyed that the ride's depiction of LA accurately consists of mostly parking structures.
+ Get in the front car for Leviathan if you can. That first drop will be both the literal high point of the ride and the figurative high point of your life.
+ If you have a car, bring a nice meal (hell, pack a picnic!) in a cooler and enjoy a lovely lunch break. We snuck in some nuts and dried fruit for extra sustenance, which is a great option if you're not a theme park food-kinda person.
+ Don't read up on rideaccidents.com until you get home safe and sound.
You're welcome. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to lie down and pretend I'm still on the Behemoth.
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