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| - Mentioning my name in certain circles is verboten. Never mention Rex Marvin at the San Antonio Community Quilting Bee...apparently quilting the greatest moment of your sexual history isn't appropriate for a 12 year old looking to enter the competitive world of quilting. Never mention Rex Marvin at the National Bowling Stadium...apparently streaking across the lanes with "This Isn't A Real Sport" on your buttocks is a faux pas. The beer and bratwurst crowd can be a touchy one. Never mention Rex Marvin at the Birmingham Alabama "Is This Your Sister or Your Wife" Blueberry Festival...apparently screaming "anyone who didn't take a bath with your future wife as kids aren't really married in this state" is a little too close to the truth for most. (On a side not, moonshine, incest and the bible is a dangerous combination. A lot of bad ideas are formulated.) And never...ever...ever mention the name of Rex Marvin at the Kentucky Apple Festival...I will just say this...when someone tells me there is an apple festival...and there is no Apple Spinach Lasagna then you get what you deserve...and if that means holding the Apple Queen down (a guy in a dress by the way)...and putting apples in every cavity...then you take it like a man...a man in a dress with shaved legs and a date that couldn't tell he was a man.
In most Mexican food restaurants...chain restaurants... there is a written rule to ban Rex Marvin on sight. They won't announce this policy...if you mention Rex Marvin they will call the cops and have you escorted out. Only Del Taco has publicly stated on a Danish Crime Show roughly translated as "Man Who Can't Salt Fish Correctly" that I will be killed even if I try to go through the drive thru. I have taken that on as a badge of all that is right in the world. (Secretly, I go in to Del Taco's and eat their crappy food while writing 'Tom Sizemore banged your mom' on bathroom stall walls.)
I take Mexican food very seriously, because it is great when you just take great ingredients and don't mess them up. Most places use over processed crappy ingredients and used heavily handed sauces. Fresh, simple and flavorful. Chain Mexican food restaurants seem to remove the flavor when they defrost the meat outside in the sun. Canned vegetables. Premade sauces. Frozen food. Is there any reason that 4 of my 9 felony convictions have been committed in a fast food Mexican place? Instead of the Twinkie Defense I used the Canned Crap defense.
When I woke up behind a Rubio's after 3 days of snorting bath salts and Pine Sol. Trust me it is something that is really best left to the professionals. I woke up to a great smell...actually I woke up to 3 guys carrying trash cans and drinking low grade sake out of a plastic jug. Three shots later I was ready to eat. Nice guys. Bought two Chinese stars and some fireworks. They kept smiling and speaking Finnish...weird blonde bastards.
I went into Rubios and it was a revelation. Very reasonable priced. Very good food. All of the chips are made fresh daily. The standout is the fish taco. I have gone back several times and I have bought the battered fish tacos (I suggested calling it the Rihanna but they didn't go for it) and they were great every time. Get the Especial, very good guacamole and cilantro. Worth the 40 cents. The Burritos are very good and a good size for the price. The salad has a lot of good things in it, not just lettuce and the blows are good if you are into that. They are light. The taquitos are good, but not crispy enough the time I got it. The main thing is that this place uses great ingredients. The times I have eaten there I have loved the food. Is it as good as a great local place...no, it can't be. It is still a chain, but a good chain...like the one from my scrotum to my nipple.
It does have a decent sauce bar. The three sauces range from very good to okay. They have roasted pepper sauce and the best one. There is a salsa verde, but it is the weakest one. They have a spicy piccante which is good, but one note.
The bad...the sides are not great. The beans are just awful. Very soupy. Not much flavor. The rice was dry. The sides are very important and seem like an after thought here. Sad, because it would be better rated if they cared about their side dishes.
I won't eat there all the time. I won't eat there when I have better alternatives, but I will go back. I like it. I don't love it. It is how I feel about the girl who I peep into her windows. I like her enough to look...not enough to stalk. Fine line? Yes. A line nonetheless? Yes.
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